Finding Your Footing
by lionsandwolves
Summary: Before they were the Marauders they were four eleven year old boys who had no idea the part they would play in the wars to come.
1. Chapter 1

Werewolf.

The word brought with it a stigma that made anyone within hearing distance recoil and look at him with fear. People would observe at his tiny, eleven year old form and see a monster. Only recently had Remus Lupin realised just how hated he was within the Wizarding World. For as long as he could remember he had been suffering from an illness that once a month culminated in him being locked in a room for his own safety then emerging the next morning, usually weak and exhausted, often injured, but always, without fail, with no memory of the night that had just passed. He'd always linked the moon to these bouts of "ill health" and would often dissolve into tears in his parent's arms as the full moon approached, well aware of the fact that there was nothing he or they could do to stop the inevitable.

Only when he was nine did he learn the truth of his affliction. After a particularly bad night he'd woken up in an uncomfortable bed in Saint Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries to discover a Healer discussing him quietly with his parents, unaware that he was conscious and listening to every word they said. That was when he'd heard it: _"Werewolf."_ In the years that followed, Remus Lupin grew up very quickly and resigned himself to the fact that he'd never have any real friends, would never have a real job, and would never go to school.

So how exactly he found himself where he was at ten to eleven on the 1st September, he wasn't quite sure. He was sat next to the window, alone in a chilly compartment of the Hogwarts Express with his legs crossed, despite his father always telling him not to put his feet on the furniture. Remus decided this didn't count as it was a special occasion and his shoes were clean. He reached into his pocket and took out a letter, crumpled from the many timed he's already done so this morning, just to check – again - that he wasn't dreaming.

 _HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY_

 _Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore_

 _(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,_

 _Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

 _Dear Mr Lupin,_

 _We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._

 _Term begins on 1_ _st_ _September. We await your owl by no later than 31_ _st_ _July._

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _Minerva McGonagall_

 _Deputy Headmistress_

There was no mistake; he was going to Hogwarts, the letter and the visit from Professor Dumbledore confirmed as much, but Remus still couldn't bring himself to believe it just yet.

Despite his disbelief, his trunk, freshly stamped with _R. J. Lupin_ in gold lettering, sat in the luggage rack above his head and he was wearing the warmest clothes he owned; a thick beige knitted jumper, jeans, and two pairs of socks to fill out the boots that were ever so slightly too big for him – his mother had said he'd grow into them. He had a copy of _The Daily Prophet_ on the seat next to him, ready to be read when the train set off, and his long muggle coat was currently draped over his knees and pulled up to his chin to hide his shaking hands. This was the first time he'd left his parents for any considerable length of time, as he never had any friends to have sleep overs with, and he was, quite frankly, terrified. Remus lent forward to stare out the window. His mother found his gaze immediately and waved. Hope Lupin was a small muggle woman, with bright blonde hair and blue eyes who, where ever she went, was always told she was beautiful. She smiled then turned to Remus' father, who was shaking hands with someone he must know from work, to get his attention. His dad, Lyle Lupin, was much more like him; skinny, pale, with hazel eyes and sandy brown hair that curled slightly. He waved to his son as well and wrapped and arm around his wife. Remus swallowed against the painful lump in his throat and blinked against the tears stinging his eyes as he waved back.

"We'll write as often as you want us to!" Remus heard his mother shout over the noise on the platform. Remus only nodded and waved again, before the compartment door sliding open caused him to look away and stare at the new comer standing in the doorway.

It was a girl. If Remus had little experience around people his own age he had even less around girls. He shifted nervously as she closed the door behind her and turned to face him.

"Do you mind if I sit in here?" she asked. The girl was his age, dressed in muggle clothes like him, and had a huge mane of curly, bright red hair and the greenest eyes he'd ever seen, much more vibrant than his own, muddy green colour.

"Not at all," Remus said, trying his best to be polite. The girl smiled graciously and Remus rose to help her put her trunk in the luggage rack. The black kitten she carried in a cage mewed at the girl until she let it out and held it to her. She sat down opposite him, placing the cat in her lap and pulled her legs up to cross them in a mirror image of himself. It was then he realised she was crying.

He could feel his heartbeat in his ears from panic. Not only did he not know how to befriend this kindly stranger, this stranger was a girl - and not just a girl, but a crying girl. She could be upset about leaving home, Remus thought, but due to the way she was determinedly not looking out the window and was staring at the floor instead, he decided it wasn't that.

"Um…" he began, not quite sure what to say. "Are you okay?" She looked up and quickly wiped away the tears on her face.

"I'm fine, thank you." She said, somewhat curtly. But then she cleared her throat and smiled gently, holding out her hand. "Sorry, I didn't even ask you name when I barged in here. I'm Lily." Remus took her hand and shook it, feeling a little like a child trying to act like a grown up, before letting go quickly.

"Remus," he said "And, it's fine, no one else was sitting there anyway." Lily laughed at his albeit weak joke and reached into her bag to pull out a book. Remus noticed the title.

"Is that Sherlock Holmes?" he questioned, excited to have a topic to talk about.

"Yes," said Lily, a little taken aback by his eagerness. " _The Sign of Four,_ do you read Conan Doyle?"

"Ah, well… no." Remus said, blushing slightly. "My mother reads them, I recognised the title from my bookshelf at home." Lily's face unexpectedly lit up.

"So, are you muggleborn too?" she said, sitting up straighter.

"Er… no," Remus said, a little awkwardly. Lily flushed scarlet at his words, suddenly looking ashamed.

"I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have told you," she said, and added, with a glance at _The Prophet_ next to him, "What with everything that's going on. Being muggleborn shouldn't really be broadcast. Not that I think you'd… I'm sorry, I'm not sure of what is normal to talk about in the wizarding world yet…" she drifted off, looking more and more embarrassed and about to cry again. Remus glanced down at _The Prophet_ and the headline on the front page: _Muggleborn Ministy Witch Killed By Death Eaters, Family Currently Missing_ it read.

"I'm halfblood," Remus said conversationally, trying to distract Lily. "My mother is a muggle, that's how I knew the book. But my dad is a wizard and he reads muggle books too. If a story is good I don't think it matters of it is about magic or not." Lily grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

"I suppose it's just like muggles reading fantasy books, or books with magic in them," she said. "I didn't know wizards interacted much with muggle culture. I've only met one other wizard and he didn't mention it. Have you ever read _The Lord of the Rings_?"

Remus shook his head and at that moment the conductor's whistle blew and the train began to move. Both he and Lily lurched to their feet to look desperately out the window for a last glance at their families. Remus spotted his parents, both waving furiously and he waved back just as enthusiastically. Lily did the same to his left, both of them staying where they were until the train rounded the corner and the platform faded from view.

The compartment door opened for the second time and the small space filled with laughter. Two boys had appeared there, both pulling large trunks and both with black hair, only one boy had his down to his shoulders and the other had his short and sticking up in random directions. This boy also wore glasses and carried a tawny owl in a cage. Lily's kitten watched it intensely.

"Hi!" he said through his laughter. "I'm James, and this is…. Sorry mate, I've forgotten already." He had turned to the boy with long hair and looked at him apologetically. The boy with long hair only laughed again, finding this much more amusing than Remus could fathom.

"It's Sirius," he said, both to James and to Remus and Lily.

"Hello," said Remus as they sat down. "I'm Remus, and this is Lily." Lily smiled politely at the two boys but as soon as they had acknowledged her she opened her book and disappeared behind it, leaving Remus to talk with the two black haired boys.

Other than their hair, Remus noticed, they only shared one other physical trait; they both looked very well cared for. While Remus never went without, his clothes were only ever from cheaper shops and were often mended or altered by his mother. These boys were dressed in clothes that screamed high end. James wore muggle jeans with a brand on them Remus vaguely recognised and a shirt that looked more expensive than anything he owned. Sirius, on the other hand, wore wizard's robes not unlike those he'd seen in fancy shop windows in Diagon Alley. That was where the similarities stopped. Sirius was smaller than Remus while James looked the same height. James had hazel eyes while Sirius' were a cool, keen grey.

"So, Remus," James said. "Excited?"

Remus blinked at being addressed so bluntly by a person he'd only just met.

"Er, I suppose so."

"I for one," said Sirius, as he lazily put his feet up on the seat across from him. "Couldn't wait to go. I've been stuck in London all summer and it was driving me insane."

"You live in London?" Remus asked, intrigued. "How could that be a bad thing?" Sirius shrugged.

"Can't play Quidditch in the city centre," he said with an indifferent tone. "Not without being seen by muggles anyway. Where are you from?"

"Lake District, a place called Windermere." Remus said. Sirius didn't show any signs of recognition and merely shrugged again.

"I've been on holiday there," a voice said. Lily had lowered her book and was now blushing furiously at the boys all suddenly looking at her. "We go on hiking trips, it is a beautiful place."

Remus nodded.

"It is, but it rains a lot."

"So, you play Quidditch?" James asked of Sirius as Lily hid behind her book once more. "Any good?" Sirius smirked at the challenge in the question.

"Reasonably," he said modestly. "You?"

James shrugged.

"I'm going to try and get on the team this year," he said, with a determination Remus had never seen on someone his age.

"They don't let first years on the team," Sirius pointed out. "We can't even bring brooms." He looked as though this fact personally insulted him. James seemed unfazed.

"If you're good enough for them to want you they'll bend the rules," He said with confidence. "It happened in 1889, so there is no reason why it won't happen again. All I've got to do is get into tryouts and then hope for the best. You in?"

"Sure," Sirius said, letting out a bark-like laugh. "I can already tell this year is going to be fun." James laughed with him then turned to Remus.

"What about you, Remus?" he asked. "Want to sneak into tryouts?" Remus wasn't sure how he felt, discussing breaking school rules before he'd even arrived at Hogwarts, but he wasn't about to turn down two people who appeared to want to be his friends.

"Well, I don't fly, but-"

"You don't fly?" James exclaimed, shocked. "But it's the best thing in the world! How could you not- wait." He went quiet for a second then assessed Remus. "Are you muggleborn?"

The question was posed without an ounce of maliciousness, it was simply as an enquiry to establish why he didn't fly but nevertheless, Remus saw Lily shift uncomfortably out the corner of his eye.

"No, I'm just not very good at it," Remus explained.

"Oh, fair enough." Said James, satisfied at the answer.

"But I'll come with you to the tryouts," said Remus, quickly. "It'll be impressive if you get through, but very funny of you get kicked out." Remus was half expecting James and Sirius to get annoyed at this but after a heartbeat the two of them burst out laughing again.

"You're quite funny Remus," Sirius said, chuckling and reaching into his pocket. "Come on, anyone up for exploding snap?"

The boys started up a game while Lily remained hidden behind her book, maybe shy to join in a wizarding game. Remus made a mental note to offer to teach her if they were sorted into the same house. The game passed relatively uneventfully for a game of exploding snap – apart from when the deck of cards went up and startled Lily's cat. It shot up Sirius' leg in fright and wouldn't let go until a mortified Lily prised it away. Sirius had been good natured about it; limiting his complaining to "I'm not really a cat person, dogs are better." James won the first round and completely obliterated Remus but he couldn't care less if he won or lost, he was having fun with his new friends and, for the first time he could remember, the fact he wasn't supposed to get close to people who didn't know about him and his condition completely disappeared from his mind.

When they were in their third round Remus looked up. Outside their compartment there was a small boy with mousy brown hair and a distressed look on his face. He was carrying a trunk, despite the fact the train had been moving for nearly forty-five minutes, and looking up and down the train for something.

"Is he alright?" Remus asked the others, causing them to look up.

"Why has he still got his trunk?" said Sirius, confused.

"Maybe he couldn't find a seat," said Lily. "It is quite busy." James stood without saying anything and slid the door open, causing the boy to spin round and face him, his small, watery eyes wide and his cheeks flushed with the exertion of hauling the trunk.

"You need a place to sit?" James asked, beckoning the boy to join them. He nodded desperately and muttered "thank you" to James as he stepped back to let him in and help him with his trunk.

The boy sat down in between Sirius and Lily, who had put her book down and was smiling at him in the same gracious manner she had when she'd first met Remus.

"Hello," she said gently, making the boy flush a little pinker. "I'm Lily, what's your name?" The boy gaped at her for a second before answering.

"P-Peter," he stammered in a nervous little voice. He turned to James. "Thank you for letting me in. I've been looking for somewhere since we left London. I sat down in a compartment with some Ravenclaw seventh years but then one of their friends turned up and I'd taken the last space so I had to leave. By then every compartment was full… well, apart from this one."

"Don't worry about it," James said, shrugging it off as though anyone would have done the same. "I'm James, by the way, and this is Sirius, and Remus." Both Sirius and Remus gave a little nod when their names were mentioned. Sirius drew a card from the deck he had in his hand and waved it in front of Peter's nose.

"We were just having a game," he said, raising an eyebrow. "Want dealing in?"

After a few more rounds of snap, Remus had concluded that he would probably get on very well with Peter. The boy was as quiet and soft spoken as he was and he seemed extremely gentle in his mannerisms, which was very unlike Sirius and James. They moved with a fervour that took Remus by surprise every time they called a pair in the game or dealt a winning card. Lily continued to read quietly in the corner, though every now and then she'd join in the conversation or laugh along with them when James' eyebrows were singed by an exploding deck.

As the Hogwarts Express hurtled through the countryside the sky began to gradually darken and the scenery outside the windows became wilder the further North they went. The lamps in their little compartment lit themselves and they all scrabbled through their trunks to pull on their Hogwarts robes over their muggle clothes. Remus was adjusting his sleeves to make sure the scars from one of his more eventful transformations were covered when he noticed Lily balancing her new wand between her fingertips and examining it in detail with an expression on her face he could only describe as miserable. He watched as a single tear rolled down her cheek but she quickly wiped it away and stowed her wand in her robes, completely unaware that he had witnessed this little display of emotion. Remus glanced at the other boys. They were laughing and discussing the latest Quidditch match of the league and didn't appear to have taken any notice of Lily.

"Lily," Remus said quietly. She looked up, still slightly teary. "Are you okay?" Before he could worry he'd embarrassed her, Lily smiled sadly at him.

"I will be." she said simply. She tucked her feet under her, pulled her kitten closer and rested her face against the window of the carriage, watching the countryside fly past. Remus watched her for a few seconds more then decided to leave her to herself; he knew if he was upset about something the last thing he would want would be a stranger forcing it out of him. He turned back to James, Sirius, and Peter and tried his best to keep up with their energy and enthusiasm over Quidditch, despite his pitiful knowledge of the subject.

Before long the compartment door opened again and another black haired boy entered. He walked straight past them and sat down next to Remus, across from Lily. He was skinny and had sallow skin with a hooked nose and hair that was just a little too greasy to ignore. Remus was about to introduce himself when Lily glared at the boy.

"I don't want to talk to you," she said. Remus was slightly taken aback by the resentment present in her tone and he turned away so as not to appear that he was eavesdropping, yet he couldn't ignore them completely.

"Why not?" the boy asked.

"Tuney h-hates me," Lily's voice broke and he could tell she was crying again. "Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore."

"So what?"

"So she's my sister!"

"She's only a-"

The boy's words broke off but Remus could guess what he was about to say. He decided, then and there, he didn't particularly like this boy.

"But we're going!" the boy said, injecting excitement and enthusiasm into his voice, obviously trying to stop Lily crying. "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!" Remus glanced at her and saw that she was smiling again, though her eyes still glistened slightly in the lamplight.

"You'd better be in Slytherin," the boy said, smug satisfaction on his face over having cheered her up.

"Slytherin?" James snorted, looking over to Lily and her companion or the first time. He laughed and looked to Sirius. "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" To Remus's surprise, Sirius didn't join in with James's amusement, as he had been doing for the past few hours. Instead, his face grew stony.

"My whole family have been in Slytherin," he said, somewhat reluctantly. James blinked but was unfazed.

"Blimey," he said "and I thought you seemed all right!" Sirius smirked.

"Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've the choice?"

James raised an invisible sword.

"'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad."

Remus heard the new boy make a judgemental noise and James looked to him, contempt on his face.

"Got a problem with that?"

"No," said the boy in a snide voice. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy—"

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" Sirius said, cutting him off suddenly. James burst into raucous laughter at this, Peter chuckled appreciatively, even Remus couldn't keep the smirk off his face. Lily, on the other hand, looked incensed.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment." She stood and the boy, Severus, followed her.

"Ooooo," James and Sirius said as they dissolved into laughter again. Lily picked up her cat and left the compartment, her long red hair swinging behind her. Severus was a few steps behind her, looking smug that she'd taken his side. He dodged James's outstretched foot and closed the compartment door behind him.

"See ya, Snivellus!" said Sirius, sardonically. "Well, I think he was lovely. Shall we invite him to sit with us at dinner?"

"I think it might be a laugh," said James, still looking out the window down the corridor. His eyes were narrowed with dislike.

"Do you think we upset Lily?" asked Peter.

"Hmm?" James said, dragging his eyes away from the corridor. "What? Oh, Lily. Dunno, mate, she got very moody very quickly didn't she?"

"Maybe she has a thing for Snivellus," said Sirius, unconcerned. "Chuck us that _Prophet_ will you, Remus?"

He passed it over and Sirius turned to the middle page, drew out a quill from his robes, and started staring intently at the page. Peter leaned over to see what he was doing.

"The crossword?" he said, scathingly. Sirius didn't look up, instead he simply filled in a word.

"Quidditch isn't the only thing I'm good at, Peter," he said distractedly, still focused on his task. Peter raised his eyebrows but said nothing. James smirked and struck up a conversation with Peter about Hogwarts subjects but Remus didn't join in; the headline on the front page that Lily had brought up earlier had caught his attention, only this time he noticed the picture that was with it. A young family was waving out at him, all smiling, and all – except the mother who was already dead – still missing. Remus put the thought out of his mind.

When they left the train, the platform was in chaos. Students towered above him, hurrying around to find their friends or collect their luggage and buffeting Remus as they did so. He turned around, expecting to see one of his new friends but then realised he'd lost them. Panic fluttered in his chest – he'd managed to find three people he liked, and that he thought liked him - he didn't want to have to walk into Hogwarts alone after that.

"Oi! Remus!" a voice called. Remus whipped around to see Sirius standing with James and Peter, gesturing for him to join them. He ran over.

"We thought we'd lost you, mate," James said. A few drops of rain had started to fall and James removed his glasses to wipe them dry before putting them back on and squinting up at the sky. "Can't see the moon it's that cloudy tonight."

"Believe me, it's up there," Remus said darkly. His heart skipped a beat when he realised what he'd said, but no one seemed to have picked up on his tone.

Before anyone else could say anything more a thunderous voice boomed from a man Remus hadn't noticed in the dark.

"Firs' years, follow me!" the voice said. Remus found his gaze going up and up and up as he searched for the man's face. He stood at least as tall as three of him and he had a bushy black beard that hid most of his face.

"Who is that?" said Remus, his voice slightly higher than usual. Peter appeared to be thinking the same. He was staring at the man with his mouth hanging open.

"I've been told about him!" Sirius cried. "It's Hagrid. He's the game keeper her and he takes the first years in to the school across the lake! Apparently there's a giant squid in there." Remus was not placated by this information, and from his horror struck expression, neither was Peter. James, however, looked ecstatic.

"Brilliant! Reckon we can duel it?" he drew his wand and made a flourishing movement. Nothing happened. Sirius snorted.

"Bit hard to duel if you don't know any spells."

"And it's not really a duel if it can't send spells back," Remus added. "You'd just be stabbing at an innocent creature with your wand."

"Funny," James said, stowing his wand in his robes, with a smile on his face nonetheless.

The crowd of first year students followed Hagrid off the platform down a dark path, trying their best to see where they were standing in the dark. Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter piled into a little boat at Hagrid's command and, at once, all the boats set off out on to the lake, seemingly by themselves. Hagrid led the way, taking up a boat all by himself, while their boat chugged along at the back. Lily and Severus glided past them in a boat with two other girls and were chatting animatedly. James noticed them and leaned over the side to flick water into their boat.

"Watch out, Snivellus, don't want to accidently wash the grease out your hair!"

The two girls squealed. Severus's pallid face flushed red, while Sirius laughed. Lily glared at them and pulled Severus by the shoulder so they were facing away.

Throughout all this Peter hadn't moved. He clung to the sides of the boat, breathing hard and trying his very best not to throw up.

"Not a fan of the water, Petey?" Sirius asked.

Peter swallowed and shook his head.

"What if I do this?" teased Sirius. He began to sway from side to side, causing the boat to start rocking gently. "Does that make it better?"

James laughed but at the sight of Peter's terrified face he fell quiet and swatted at Sirius.

"Don't be a git, Sirius," he said, reprimanding him. "Peter looks like he's going to pass out." Sirius stopped, looking ever so slightly guilty. Peter nodded appreciatively at James.

"Sorry, mate," said Sirius. "I was only having a laugh, didn't mean anything by it."

Peter still hadn't fully recovered.

"D-don't like w-w-water."

Remus placed a hand on the boy's shoulder to steady him, very aware that Peter might still throw up.

"I can see it!" cried a voice from one of the other boats. All four of them looked up across the water to catch their first glance of the castle.

Hogwarts stood high and impressively above the water, with towers and turrets reaching up to the black sky. Warm and inviting lights from the lit windows danced on the surface of the lake and Remus could feel his heart beating in his ears and his eyes start to sting. He never thought he'd get here; that he'd be welcomed and wanted in the halls of the historic castle. He swallowed against the lump in his throat.

"It's beautiful," he whispered.

"It's huge," added Peter, who was as transfixed as Remus.

James let out a disbelieving laugh.

"It's bloody brilliant! Just like my dad said!"

Sirius was the only one who was quiet. He didn't seem excited like he had been on the train, if anything, his face was a mask of trepidation.

The boats scraped against the silt and came to a halt and groups of eleven year olds clambered out of them. They followed the game keeper up the little pebble beach that separated the lake and the grounds, talking in hushed but excited voices as they made their way to Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 2

"Honestly, just ignore them, Sev."

Lily and Severus were walking up the stone steps to the castle, following the huge man who had just brought them across the lake. The rain had stayed light, limiting itself to a light patter, but nevertheless, she was eager to get inside. The two girls who had been in their boat – Bianca and Rosemary they had said their names were – were still complaining about their wet robes after that James boy had splashed water at them. Lily had managed to stay mostly dry, but Severus had one soaked sleeve.

"That's all right for you to say," he grumbled, shaking his wet arm. "They seemed to like you enough when I walked in there."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"I only spoke to Remus, the other three got on my nerves."

Severus narrowed his eyes and looked towards the back of the group of first years at the four boys.

"Is he the tired looking one?" he asked. Lily shoved his shoulder lightly.

"Don't say things like that," Her words were cautionary but her tone was light. "But yes." Snape smiled at her playfully then his face grew worried.

"I didn't like the one with the glasses," he said. Lily ignored him. Severus carried on regardless. "What if we're split up?"

Lily sighed, genuinely anxious about the sorting.

"I don't know Sev," she said. "I hope we're not, but there doesn't seem to be much we can do about it. If we are we'll still see each other though. We'll have lessons and meal times and breaks together, we just won't be able to hang out after hours." He didn't look convinced.

The group of students reached the top of the stairs and the big man knocked on the huge oak front doors. They swung open and revealed a woman waiting for them. Lily immediately noticed her firm expression and strong stature and decided that she admired her, even without knowing anything about her. Lily was also a little scared of her, but she brushed this aside. The woman had glasses and her hair tied back in a sleek bun at the nape of her neck. Her robes were simple but graceful, with red detailing.

"Brought you the firs' years, Professor McGonagall," the big man said.

Professor McGonagall nodded.

"Thank you, Hagrid. This way, students." She turned and walked into the entrance hall. Lily took a deep breath, grinned at Severus, and followed.

"Pay attention at the back! I will not repeat myself."

James fell silent at Professor McGonagall's admonishment and he felt himself go a little pink. Sirius shook beside him, trying to hold in his giggles and Remus and Peter smirked.

They were stood in the entrance hall waiting to go into the Great Hall for the sorting ceremony and were supposed to be listening to Professor McGonagall who was explaining what was to happen next.

"So," whispered Remus to him. "It's just a hat? We don't actually have to do anything?"

"I don't think so," James whispered back. "Unless they've changed the rules since my mum and dad were here. Now that I think about it they might have done, because they were at Hogwarts _ages_ ago." As he spoke, a girl with long blonde hair and freckles across the bridge of her nose turned to scowl at him for speaking. James stuck his tongue out at her in reply.

McGonagall went through the doors to the Great Hall and left them alone and a nervous chatter started up between the students. Peter started chewing on the corner of his sleeve and looking around, panicky. James could feel the disgust on his face as he watched him sucking on the fabric but, for some reason, he couldn't look away. Sirius had noticed too.

"What on earth are you doing, Peter?" his voice was blunt and his face exasperated. Peter flushed scarlet and started stammering. "You seem like a decent guy," Sirius continued. "But please don't sit next to me when we're eating if you're going to be pulling stuff like that."

"He's just nervous," Remus said.

"Yeah, but-" Sirius held out his hands, as though lost for words. "Come on, it's disgusting."

"I'm sorry," Peter said in a small voice, his eyes to the floor. Sirius rolled his eyes and shot James a look.

Before anyone could say anything else, McGonagall was back and leading them into the Great Hall.

The room was vast, with four long tables full of students, stretching side by side up towards another table that sat on a small platform. James could only assume that the people who sat on this table were the teaching staff. Floating candles lit the room and hovered in their hundreds over the tables and caused glittering light to reflect of the golden plates and goblets that were placed along them. James lifted his gaze to the ceiling and saw, with a shock that there wasn't one. Or, at least there didn't seem to be. The tops of the walls faded into a night sky, complete with the stormy clouds that he'd seen down in Hogsmede. McGonagall led them between two of the tables until they reached the foot of the platform. In front of them stood a three-legged wooden stool with an old faded hat sitting on it. To his amazement, a rip at the brim opened and a voice came out of it.

" _I may not look too handsome,_

 _I may not look the part,_

 _But put me on and close your eyes,_

 _And I'll see what's in your heart._

 _My job is quite simple,_

 _I'm the Sorting Hat,_

 _When you put me on I'll tell you true,_

 _And that will be quite that._

 _I may put you in Hufflepuff,_

 _Where the fair and kind dwell,_

 _Or maybe in Slytherin,_

 _Where the shrewd and sharp do well._

 _Or perhaps you belong in Gryffindor_

 _Where the brave and daring are,_

 _Or in Ravenclaw you belong,_

 _Where clever folk are never far._

 _Some are surprised by my decision,_

 _Though I say I'm never wrong,_

 _I see it all, I'm always just,_

 _You've arrived at Hogwarts, now come along!"_

The hat finished singing and James clapped along with the rest of the people in the hall, excitement filling him and making his heart beat faster in his chest. Sirius was bouncing on the balls of his feet next to him, obviously just as eager as he was. He took a deep breath to try and calm himself down. He didn't fancy getting up there in front of the whole school and then throwing up.

Professor McGonagall had reappeared and was holding a scroll.

"When I call your name, you will sit on the stool, put on the hat and be sorted." She looked over her glasses at the parchment. "Adrian, Noel!" she called.

A tall boy with brown hair near the front of the crowd walked up and sat on the stool. He looked petrified. He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the stool with his hands and Professor McGonagall placed the hat on his head. There were a few seconds of silence where James held his breath then…

" _Gryffindor!"_ came the cry from the hat. The boy leapt down, and almost ran to the safety of the cheering table with the red and gold ties and out of the eyeline of the masses of people in the hall. _One Gryffindor place gone,_ James thought.

 _Betram, Aubrey_ became a Ravenclaw along with _Amos, George. Ashwell, Rosemary_ was sorted into Hufflepuff and weedy looking _Avery, Charles_ became the first Slytherin to be sorted. A few more people were called before McGonagall said:

"Black, Sirius!"

"Oh, hell," Sirius breathed. He inhaled deeply then made his way up to the stool.

James swore under his breath.

"What?" whispered Remus.

"I didn't know he was a Black," James said in Remus's ear.

"Does it matter?"

"I suppose not, but…" James watched McGonagall place the hat on Sirius's head. "They've got a bit of a reputation, you know? He said his whole family had been in Slytherin but I would have never guessed-"

" _Gryffindor!"_

Sirius sagged in the stool, but it was only when he looked up with a huge smile on his face that James saw it was with relief. He clapped loudly as Sirius sat down at the Gryffindor table and watched as he smirked smugly at someone at Slytherin table. James turned to see who but there were far too many people for him to work it out.

By the time Professor McGonagall had made her was to the Ps, Remus had joined Gryffindor along with Lily Evans, the red head girl from their compartment on the train; Marlene McKinnon, the blonde girl who'd glared at him in the entrance hall; Mary MacDonald, a black girl with tight curls and a confident walk; Emma Fawley, a mousy girl with pink cheeks; and Sinead Duffy, who had a short black bob and shockingly porcelain skin had also joined Gryffindor. The group still waiting had dwindled significantly and now he stood next to Peter desperately waiting for McGonagall to call his name.

"Pettigrew, Peter!"

Peter walked up to the stool with his hands shaking. James glanced at the Gryffindor table. It was looking very full.

" _Gryffindor!"_

"Bloody Hell," James moaned to himself as he watched Peter join Remus and Sirius. Severus, who had been looking at Lily sat at the Gryffindor table heard him and sneered at him.

"Maybe you won't be making your dad proud after all."

James was about to make a witty remark when he heard his own name finally being called.

"Potter, James!"

He made his way up to the stool, careful to bump into Severus as he did so, and sat down carefully, concentration on not wobbling off the stool. Hundreds of pairs of eyes blinked up at him and he could hear blood thundering in his ears.

"Hmmm," said a delicate voice. It seemed to be coming from inside his own head, rather than someone else speaking to him. "You seem to know where you want to go, but do I agree? You have the nerve… and you're clearly brave… but there's an intelligence that can't be ignored… along with a fierce loyalty. Maybe…"

James kept his mind focused on gold and scarlet, on the pictures of lions and swords that he'd seen in his father's photos.

" _Gryffindor!_ "

James let out a little laugh of happiness, and for some reason, when he looked to the table clapping and cheering the most, his hazel eyes immediately found bright green ones. He quickly found Sirius, Remus and Peter and smiled at them and, as he took off the hat and made his way to his new house table, he looked to Severus, who was still waiting to be sorted and looked livid. James sat beside Sirius who was beaming.

"You look happy," James remarked.

Sirius shrugged.

"It's quite satisfying knowing that you've just pissed off your entire family." Sirius nodded to a pale blonde girl sat on the Slytherin table. She was older than them and was watching Sirius coldly. Next to her sat a blonde boy, who looked as equally displeased.

"Who is that?"

"My cousin, Narcissa. She's a sixth year, and a total bore," said Sirius, not breaking eye contact with her. "The boy next to her is her boyfriend, Lucius Malfoy. He's a prefect. Our family practically fawns over him because he's messed up in the Dark Arts." He looked away and clapped along with everyone as Emmeline Vance joined their table.

James watched the blonde boy silently. He had an aura of superiority around him that James could detect from even this distance. He leaned over and whispered something in the girl's ear and she smiled a smug little smile.

"Lily, are you okay?"

James looked away. Remus had a hand on a dejected looking Lily's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said. "It's just…" she trailed off with a gesture at the Slytherin table.

"You're not upset about Snivellus being put in Slytherin are you?" Sirius asked, scathingly. James hadn't even noticed he'd been sorted. Lily shot him a furious glare but before she could argue back, a man who could only be Professor Dumbledore stood up to speak. His beard fell to his waist and his hair was just as long. He wore half-moon spectacles on a crooked nose and he was dressed in shockingly bright turquoise robes that swirled around him as he moved. The hall went quiet as everyone turned to listen.

"Students, old and new," he began, with his arms outstretched. "I welcome you to Hogwarts. I know listening to me is the last thing on the minds of many of you so, without delay, let us eat!"

There was a smattering of applause as Dumbledore sat down and, as he did so, the golden plates in front of them filled with food.

"Oh, my goodness," Remus said, his eyes wide. Next to him Peter blinked with his mouth hanging open. Sirius laughed appreciatively, seized a serving spoon, and dived into the roast potatoes.

The fuller James became the more chance he had to chat with those around him. He learnt that, along with Remus, Sirius, and Peter, he'd also be sharing a dormitory with two other boys; Sam Shafiq and Noel Adrian. They seemed nice enough and he began to feel more and more excited about being at Hogwarts and the nervousness that had been possessing him was slowly fading away. The first year Gryffindor girls seemed a friendly bunch, all of them talking animatedly, however, James did notice that out of them Lily was easily the most reserved. Mary MacDonald, who's self-assured nature had been obvious to James even when she'd been walking up to be sorted, was the loudest; she laughed and teased with the other girls as if she'd known them for years.

James was discussing Professor Dumbledore's eccentricities with his new friends when suddenly, to his right, Emma Fawley screamed.

"What?" he cried, startled. He turned to see what she was pointing at and saw, to his horror, ghosts pouring through the walls. It took him a second to remember that he'd been told that this would happen, that Hogwarts had house ghosts, but even so, the sight was still shocking.

Sirius, evidently, also knew about them and he was laughing at Emma's terrified expression.

"They won't hurt you!" he said, wheezing. "They can't _do_ anything, they're dead!"

"Excuse me, young man," a voice said. Behind Sirius hovered a ghost in a ruff who looked marginally offended at Sirius's words. "I think you'll find that we ghosts can do certain things."

"Like what?" asked James, who was genuinely interested. The ghost raised an eyebrow and drifted through Sirius and James to cross to the other side of the table and came to a stop next to a very pale Emma. James felt as though he'd jumped into a freezing cold bath and he could tell from Sirius's violent shivering that he had felt the same way.

"We can do that," said the ghost, looking pleased with their reactions. Remus and Peter laughed at them as the ghost turned to the rest of the first years.

"Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, ghost of Gryffindor Tower," he bowed forward graciously, causing his head to swing off his neck, and dangle, holding on by a tiny strip of translucent skin.

"Y- your- your-" stammered Sinead Duffy, clutching at her own throat. Sir Nicholas swung his head back into place and straightened up.

"'Tis a tragic tale, how I died…" began Sir Nicholas.

"Bet I can guess how it happened," whispered James to Sirius. Sir Nicholas didn't hear them. Instead he began a long tale of how he was hit in the neck with a blunt axe forty-five times as punishment for accidentally causing a woman to grow tusks.

By the time the remnants of their meals melted away from their plates, James was feeling extremely comfortable and warm and could think of nothing more he would like than crawling into bed. Remus obviously felt the same way as his eyes kept sliding shut then shooting back open again as he realised he was drifting off. Professor Dumbledore stood and the buzz of drowsy conversations disappeared.

"I have a few announcements to make before you all go off to bed," he said. "They include the normal ones that older students should know as well as a few new ones. The Forbidden Forest is strictly out of bounds for all students, that no magic is allowed in the corridors, and that quidditch trials will be held in two weeks."

James shot Sirius a sly grin at these words and he nodded in agreement.

"I would also like to welcome our newest member of staff," Dumbledore gestured respectfully to a witch who stood up. She was small and had a shock of white frizzy hair, and looked to be around seventy, but she stood with the strength and power of a woman of around thirty years younger. James couldn't see much of her from where he was seated, but she seemed to have a kindly face. "Professor Istus will be taking on the role of Defence Against the Dark Arts. Please join me in wishing her well." Dumbledore led a brief round of applause then turned back to the students.

"Unfortunately, I feel I must address the current climate of outside Hogwarts," Professor Dumbledore continued. There was a shift in his tone that caused James's heart to beat a little faster, even Remus sat up straighter when he recognised the seriousness in his voice. The teachers behind Dumbledore sat stony faced and watched him intently.

"As I'm sure many of you are aware," he said. "There is a disturbing trend of the use of dark and evil magic rising up from the shadows whence it came. I feel I don't need to remind you of the recent headlines that have graced the front pages of the _Daily Prophet_. Now, let me be clear, Hogwarts never has, nor never will, be tolerant to those kinds of sympathies and behaviours. The wizarding world is open to all those who have ability and to shut people out, or to target those some see as weaker than others is a mockery of the beliefs and values this school was built upon." Dumbledore paused and surveyed the students before him. In the split second his eyes had passed over him, James felt as though his piercing blue eyes had spoken to him directly.

"I urge all of you to be kind to one another and look to your similarities rather than your differences, for it is them which truly bind us together. If anyone has any concerns regarding these issues, please do not hesitated to contact your head of house." Dumbledore smiled and clapped his hands together, breaking the tension that had filled the room. "Now, off to bed!"

The walk to Gryffindor tower was longer than it had any right to be after James had eaten as much as he had and he was pretty sure he'd never find his way back down to the Great Hall on his own. Once they'd climbed to the seventh floor and gone through the portrait of the Fat Lady (only after giving the password – _Bubotuber)_ they were in the common room.

The immediate feeling James had of the room was warmth. The red and gold of the furniture and the hangings cast a cosy glow and the sound of the huge crackling fire from a fireplace that was taller than him filled the space. The room was big and circular and the windows looked out over the grounds, allowing for spectacular views and James spotted plush armchairs that he could just imagine sinking into and falling asleep. Staircases disappeared to the upper floors on either side of the room and the boy with the shiny 'P' badge who'd shown them the way led the boys up the one on the right. He pushed open a door and the six boys went in.

Behind him, James heard Sam Shafiq hoot with excitement as he ran towards the four-poster bed with his luggage in front of it and throw himself on to it. Sirius did the same while Reums simply collapsed onto his. They all changed into their pyjamas and climbed into bed.

"What do you think we'll be doing tomorrow?" Sirius asked to the room in general. He had the bed to James's left.

"Nothing too difficult, I hope," said Peter. "What do you think Remus?"

There was no answer.

"Remus?" said Noel Adrian.

Silence.

James propped himself up on his elbows to look at Remus, who had the bed across from him. All that was visible was some sandy brown curls under his duvet which was slowly rising and falling as he slept.

James smiled to himself, placed his glasses on his bedside table and pulled his covers up to his chin. As he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep his mind buzzed, full of dreams of spells, broomsticks, and, finally, being a true Gryffindor.


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN: First, I'd like to say thank you so much to people who have reviewed and then I'd like to say sorry for taking my time uploading this chapter (even though I have no idea if anyone has actually been waiting for it. I suppose it is better to apologise for something you might have done than not apologise for something you have done, right?). This chapter is a bit longer but I hope you enjoy!**_

 _ **Thanks.**_

"… _you're being separated from normal people… for our safety…"_

" _Freak!"_

Lily's eyes flickered open as the dream melted away, yet the words her sister had thrown at her still hung in the air. She squeezed them shut and turned her face into her pillow as the last conversation she'd had with her Petunia filled her mind. She'd rather be having nightmares again than be thinking about that.

It was then she realised that it was pressure on her belly had woken her, and not the memory of her sister hissing insults at her. Her cat was making himself comfortable and watching her with his yellow eyes. Lily reached out and stroked his tiny head.

"Good morning, Pan," she said softly, her eyes still half closed. The kitten purred softly and pushed his head into the palm of her hand.

Light was filtering through the crimson hangings around her bed, giving everything she could see a warm glow. She could hear the other girls beginning to stir but instead of getting up she stayed where she was.

She didn't dislike her new dorm mates – in fact she knew full well she could become good friends with a few of them if she made the effort – she just didn't feel in the mood to make much of an effort with new people. She wanted to be hanging out with Severus. It was a bizarre situation; the only friend she had at Hogwarts was separated from her by a stupid talking hat.

Lily frowned. The hat had actually been very impressive and she knew she was being bratty. Remus had been nice enough, and Emmeline, Mary, and Marlene seemed fun. The other two had already banded together and had been up talking to each other until late making it quite clear that they weren't that interested in involving the rest of the dorm. Lily gave her head a quick shake – she was getting herself in a bad mood again. After all, they were getting their timetables this morning and she was bound to have at least some lessons with Severus.

Sighing, Lily pushed her duvet off her legs, making Pan jump off the bed, and pulled back the hangings. She squinted at the direct sunlight hitting her face and shoved her feet into her slippers. Mary was sat on her own bed with her legs crossed and a look of intense concentration on her face as she waved her wand around her, randomly pointing it at objects around the room. Nothing was happening.

"Morning, Mary," Lily said as she stood and began rooting in her trunk for her clothes. "What exactly are you doing?"

"All right, Lily," Mary said by way of a greeting without stopping her gesticulating. "Just wondering when something will happen, that's all."

Marlene, who was already dressed, had appeared and was leaning against Mary's bed post and plaiting her long blonde hair, her eyes narrowed.

"But we haven't learnt anything yet? What are you expecting?"

Mary shrugged.

"Not quite sure. Before I got it, I was doing all sorts of magic accidentally. Since I bought my wand nothing has actually happened, I just want to see if it actually works."

Sinead Duffy rolled her eyes at Mary from the bathroom where she was brushing her teeth alongside Emma Fawley, who was watching Mary's wand with concern on her face.

"I don't think you're going to get anywhere with that, Mary," Emmeline said from her bed, where she was pulling on her socks. "It's a lot harder for magic to burst out accidentally through a wand than it is without - "

She was interrupted by a triumphant cry from Mary as bright silver sparks shot out of the end of her wand.

"HA! I knew it was working! I knew it!" she said, grinning.

"Er, Mary," Lily said, pointing. "Your curtains."

The red hangings around Mary's bed had begun to smoulder, caught by the sparks. In less than a few seconds they were on fire.

"Oh, bloody hell," Marlene said as Mary cried out and fell backwards off her bed trying to avoid the small flames licking their way slowly up the curtain.

Lily jumped up and tried batting at them with her slipper but nothing happened. Marlene reached up and, doing her best to avoid being burnt, yanked down the curtain.

"Move!" she yelled at Emma and Sinead as she ran into the tiny bathroom with the curtain. Emma screamed and Sinead swore angrily to herself as they both dodged out of the way and Marlene threw the curtain in the bath and turned on the tap.

"What do you think you're playing at?" Sinead yelled, toothbrush clenched in hand, marching towards Mary. "Are you trying to kill us?"

Emmeline snorted and Sinead spun to look at her.

"Chill out, Sinead, it was an accident," Emmeline said, obviously amused. "Besides, no one got hurt."

"You're welcome," came Marlene's voice from the bathroom.

Lily couldn't help but smirk and Mary was making no attempt to contain her laughter.

"Come on, Emma," Sinead said, picking up her bag. When Emma joined her the two of them hurried out the room and slammed the door shut behind themselves, but not before the rest of the girls still in the dormitory could hear them talking about Mary.

Mary herself seemed quite unconcerned, smiling to herself as she stuck her wand into her curly hair for safe keeping. Marlene came back in to the bedroom carrying the dripping wet curtain.

"So, Sinead isn't a morning person."

"Apparently not," said Lily, crouching down to retrieve a terrified Pan who had shot underneath her bed when Emma had screamed.

"Was quite funny though," Mary said, pulling on her robes. "Didn't mean to set the room on fire though, sorry about that."

Marlene threw the wet curtain at her, making Mary squeal.

"Don't do it again," she said, with a smile.

"Come on then," Emmeline said, slinging her bag over her shoulder and heading for the door. "I don't want to miss breakfast on our first day."

….

Remus Lupin looked up at the ceiling of the great hall as he chewed on his toast. It was clear and bright today with only a few wispy clouds scattered above him. He paused for a second as a wave of nausea shot through him. _Three days. Three more days_ , he thought. Three days and then it will be a full moon and then it'll be over for another month. He just wished it didn't have to be right at the start of term.

"Look out," said Sirius to his left. James, who was sat across from them glanced up from his cornflakes to watch the torrent of owls stream into the halls before going back to his cornflakes. A barn owl landed in front of Remus and he placed a knut in the pouch on its leg.

"You read the paper, Remus?" James asked, almost impressed.

Remus nodded.

"I don't like not knowing what is happening," he said as he smoothed out the front page, letting Sirius read it too. But before he could even take in a headline something heavy hit him in the back of the head.

"Ow!"

"Oi, Sinead!" James shouted, gesturing at Remus. "You just hit him in the head with your bag!"

Sinead, who had stormed past Remus, her bag swinging wildly, turned and scowled at them. Emma stood next to her, looking extremely awkward.

"Sorry!" Sinead snapped. She threw her bag down and sat down next to Peter, who was talking with Noel and Sam. Emma hovered behind her for a second, threw Remus an apologetic look, and then joined Sinead.

"Lovely temperament in the mornings, the Irish," James said, smirking. Remus rubbed the back of his head and rolled his eyes.

"Don't let her hear you say that," said Sirius, who had his eyes on an article about a striking ministry department.

"Anything interesting?" Remus asked.

"Are pensions interesting?"

"Er… I don't think so?"

"Then no," Sirius sighed and passed the paper back to Remus. He drummed his fingers on the table and looked up to the staff table. "When are we going to find out what we've got today? I want to get started."

"You want to start lessons?" James said, raising an eyebrow behind his glasses.

Sirius grinned.

"I can't wait. I'll be able to summon food without getting up, turn things into other things, and have you heard about some of the stuff you make in potions?"

Remus shook his head.

"It's going to be amazing," Sirius said, his eyes bright with excitement.

Mary Macdonald, Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon, and Emmeline Vance all dropped into the seats next to them, all four giggling to themselves.

"Morning, Remus," Lily said with a warm smile.

"Morning, Lily," he said, returning the smile.

"Morning, Lily," James said, copying her bright, sing-song voice. "Did you say good morning to your pal Snivellus yet?"

"Piss off, Potter," Lily shot back, venom in her voice.

"Oooooo," said Sirius, laughing at James's astonished face.

"We'll have less of language like that, Miss Evans."

Lily's expression froze on her face and she turned in her seat to see Professor McGonagall looking down at her, a disapproving expression on her face. Sirius snorted with amusement, Emmeline covered her open mouth, Marlene dissolved into a fit of silent giggles, and Lily flushed as red as her hair. McGonagall said nothing more on the subject and began handing out their timetables. As Remus took his, she spoke.

"Mr Lupin," she said. "I'd like a word with you in my office at the beginning of first period. I have spoken to Professor Slughorn and he will mark you present."

He nodded and she moved along the table to give out timetables to a group of fourth years sat near them. The girls, who hadn't noticed what Professor McGonagall had said, were looking excitedly at their timetables. Unfortunately, James and Sirius had heard.

"What was that about?" James said, leaning forward to keep people from hearing.

"I don't know," Remus said, thinking that it was probably better to act as oblivious as they obviously were.

"Are you in trouble?" Sirius whispered, impressed.

Remus shrugged.

"Don't see how I can be? I've been here less than a day." He cleared his throat loudly and looked at his timetable, desperately trying to change the subject. "What have we got today?"

Sirius lent over his own time table and spoke.

"Um, Potions with Slughorn first… double History of Magic with Professor Binns – that better not be boring – then lunch, then Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Istus, then Charms and then we're done! Doesn't seem too bad."

The bell rang and the three of them stood and slung their bags over their shoulders and left the hall. Remus waved goodbye to James and Sirius as they headed for the dungeons and he began up the marble staircase. It wasn't until he was halfway up that he realised he was being watched. Peter Pettigrew was walking through the entrance hall with Adrian Noel and Sam Shafiq and had his eyes on Remus, looking confused. Remus raised a hand, intending to assure him all was well, and hurried up the stairs.

….

Professor McGonagall's office was a small room but had large windows to let the autumn light stream in and a huge fireplace that filled the space with warmth. Remus found himself seated in a large arm chair with his back to said fireplace, facing Professor McGonagall, with a large oak desk separating them.

Remus took a deep breath. He was terrified. Was he about to be sent home? He was sure Professor Dumbledore had changed his mind and decided he didn't want someone like him at Hogwarts anymore – or perhaps he never had? Perhaps this had all been a huge mistake and they had never intended for him to come? He gripped the arms of his chair and waited for Professor McGonagall to say something.

However, she wasn't even looking at him; instead she was inspecting some letters and murmuring something to herself. Eventually, she put down the letters and looked at him, her expression as firm as ever.

"There is no need to look so frightened, Mr Lupin," she said, a hint of a smile playing round the corners of her mouth. "I did not call you here to give you detention or announce bad news."

Remus didn't relax his stance. Professor McGonagall watched him for a second before reaching to a drawer on her desk and producing a tartan tin. She pulled off the lid and offered its contents to him. Remus straightened up to see in better and saw –

"Shortbread salamanders," she said, giving the tin a small shake. "I'm afraid I'm out of ginger newts. Take one."

The last thing Remus wanted was a biscuit – he'd been feeling sick on and off all morning but, nevertheless, he took one and bit off a foot.

"Now," Professor McGonagall began, replacing the lid on the tin and putting it away. "We were waiting for Madam Pomfrey, but, unfortunately, she appears to be running late."

There was a knock on the door and a woman bustled in with a file in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.

"I'm so sorry Professor," the woman said, her voice breathy with exertion. "I was about to set off and I had Miss Jorkins burst into the hospital wing demanding I regrow an eyebrow her friend accidently vanished off when they were getting ready this morning. I righted it in no time but I hadn't had anything to eat or drink so I grabbed this and practically ran here." She raised the cup of tea and took another deep breath to try and calm herself.

"Not to worry, Poppy, please take a seat," said Professor McGonagall, gesturing to the seat next to Remus. Professor McGonagall dipped her quill in an inkpot and scribbled something on a piece of parchment. "Miss Jorkins, was it? I'll have to ask Pomona to have a word with her. That's the fourth time we've had a cosmetic related incident in two years." She put the parchment and quill to one side and smiled gently at Remus.

"Poppy, this is Mr Remus Lupin," she said, kindly. The change in her tone took him by surprise. "We spoke just before term started. Mr Lupin, this is Madam Pomfrey; she is the matron at Hogwarts."

Madam Pomfrey, who had been taking a long sip of tea, looked at Remus as though she had only just noticed him. She looked puzzled for a second and then swallowed.

"Ah, yes, Mr Lupin. It is lovely to finally meet you. I hope you don't mind if we quickly check what we have been sent by St Mungo's?" Remus shook his head. Madam Pomfrey placed her cup down on McGonagall's desk, opened the file and began reading from it. "Lovely. Now, we understand you contracted lycanthropy aged four and you and your parents have largely been managing the condition yourselves?"

Remus nodded.

"And your next transformation will take place on Sunday, three days from today?"

He nodded again and swallowed nervously.

"I'm not sure where to go, though." He said, his hands shaking slightly. He clasped them together and avoided looking into either women's eyes. "I can't stay in my dorm but I don't know where I can go… and not be a danger to anyone…" Remus looked to the floor to hide the embarrassed flush creeping into his cheeks. He felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped. Madam Pomfrey had leaned over and was patting him gently, smiling.

"You have nothing to worry about in that regard, Mr Lupin," Professor McGonagall said. "We have made arrangements that will allow you to go through your transformations away from anyone, so even if something were to happen there shouldn't be anyone near you to be put in danger. Madam Pomfrey, if you would."

Madam Pomfrey removed her hand and went back to her file.

"Yes, of course. You and I will travel through the grounds before nightfall on Sunday and we will enter a passage way that is guarded by the Whomping Willow that was planted in the grounds this summer. No student will be able to follow us as the tree won't let them. At the end of the passage there is a house that, while abandoned for many years, is very secure. I will leave you there and you will be able to transform there safely." She smiled sympathetically, obviously well aware of how uncomfortable Remus was at this conversation. "In the morning, after you have transformed back, I will come back for you and you'll spend however long you need in the hospital wing so I can check you over and treat any injuries you may have given yourself."

Remus wasn't quite sure what to say. The school had gone way beyond what he had expected simply by accepting him. By actually _accommodating_ him, they'd done more than he ever thought anyone would be willing to do. In his overwhelming gratitude, Remus could do nothing but nod.

"Thank you," he mumbled, still twisting his hands.

"That's quite all right, Mr Lupin," said McGonagall. "Now, unless you have any questions Madam Pomfrey wants to check how you are feeling, what with the proximity of the full moon, and then you are free to go to your first lesson."

Professor McGonagall began to stand when Remus spoke up.

"I do have one question," he said quietly. Professor McGonagall froze but then sat back in her seat, ready to listen to him. Remus paused for a second, struggling for the words. "What do I tell people? Because… well, they're going to notice that something is… wrong with me." He sat, wide eyed waiting for an answer to the question that had concerned him from the second Lily had spoken to him on the train.

Professor McGonagall tilted her head to the side as she thought.

"Professor Dumbledore and I spoke about this," she said, with the air of someone choosing their words extremely carefully. "We would like to stress to you that you have nothing to be ashamed of. You have done nothing wrong, Mr Lupin. You were attacked, and no one can ever deserve that. However, we cannot be naïve. We live in prejudice times, as I'm sure you are aware, and not everyone fully understands the condition. We have decided that it would be best to tell the other students that you are visiting an ill family member; people shouldn't ask too many questions about a topic so personal. Even so, if you ever feel uncomfortable with questions being asked, or someone's behaviour towards you, please do not hesitate to speak to either myself or Madam Pomfrey." McGonagall looked at him with a gentle expression, that was quite at odds with the stern look she usually had, and he couldn't help but smile a small smile back at her.

"Now," said Professor McGonagall, standing and walking around her desk. "I have work to do. Mr Lupin, if you don't mind, Madam Pomfrey has a few questions for you and then you are free to go."

She nodded a curt goodbye and swept from the room, closing the door gently behind her.

"Mr Lupin," Madam Pomfrey said, dipping her quill in the ink pot on McGonagall's desk and pulling out a fresh sheet of parchment from the file. "How have you felt this morning? Nauseous? Yes, I would have thought so this close to a full moon. Have you had any headaches? Okay, how bad would you say they were?"

….

By the time Remus got to the dungeons Professor Slughorn was already halfway through the lesson. He hurriedly gave his apologies and went to sit in the nearest seat; next to Peter, who was sat alone towards the front of the class.

"It's too late for you to start from the beginning, Mr Lupin," Professor Slughorn said as he wandered through the desks, looking in cauldrons. "You can assist Mr Pettigrew today." Slughorn moved off to inspect the potion Lily and Snape were working on without another word.

Pettigrew smiled at him nervously. Remus smiled back.

"So, where were you this morning?" Peter asked, quite out of thin air.

"Oh," Remus said, blinking. He hadn't expected to have to answer this question so quickly. "I… um, I- Professor McGonagall had some news from home, that's all."

Peter went a little red at this, realising he'd unwittingly asked a very personal question.

"What are we working on then?" said Remus conversationally, trying to limit Peter's embarrassment. He lent over the cauldron to look and wrinkled his nose at the smell.

"I'm not sure, to be honest," said Peter, with a muddled look on his round face. "I'm just doing what it says on the blackboard and trying not to blow anything up."

Remus couldn't help but laugh and Peter immediately looked more at ease. Remus reached for the berries Peter had measured out and began crushing them, as instructed on the board.

"Why were you on your own anyway, Peter?" he asked, nodding towards the empty seat next to James and Sirius, who were taking it in turns to see how far away they could get from their cauldron and still toss ingredients into it. There was an empty seat at their bench.

Peter shrugged.

"Don't think they like me,"

"Of course they do!" Remus said. "What makes you think that?"

Peter shrugged again.

"It's just a guess," he furrowed his brows. "I was going to sit with Sam and Noel, but they sat next to Marlene and Mary. I don't know anyone else so I thought I'd better sit here."

"Fair enough," Remus said, not wanting to push to the point of being rude. "But I'm sure you're wrong about James and Sirius; they seemed fine to me."

"That's because they like you," Peter said, glumly.

Remus spent the remainder of the lesson doing his best to cheer up Peter and it seemed to work. By the time the bell rang Peter was laughing with Remus and didn't seem to notice when James and Sirius smiled at Remus and not Peter on their way out of the dungeon. He sat next to him through History of Magic as well. Remus had been looking forward to this subject; he'd always loved his father telling him stories of legendary goblin rebellions and giant wars, but Professor Binns managed to make the subject rather boring. The only exciting thing to happen in the lesson was William Greengrass, a Ravenclaw, falling off his chair in surprise when Professor Binns ascended up through the floor in front of his desk instead of using the door.

When it was time for lunch Remus waved goodbye to Peter and caught up with James and Sirius in the corridor while Peter stayed with Adrian and Sam.

"All right, Remus?" James said, clapping him on the shoulder as he slowed to a walk next to them. "We were starting to think you'd abandoned us for Pettigrew."

"Heartbroken, we were," said Sirius, mock grief on his face.

Remus smirked.

"No, just didn't want to leave him on his own,"

James let out a laugh.

"Little odd though, isn't he? Harmless, probably, but a bit weird."

"You know I could hear him crying last night before he fell asleep," Sirius said, sneering.

Remus frowned.

"Just because you were desperate to get away from home doesn't mean everyone else was glad to leave, Sirius," Remus said. They all stopped. It hung in the air for a moment as none of them could quite believe what he'd said. Remus braced himself for a slap, verbal or physical. James looked at Sirius, waiting for his reaction with his mouth slightly open. Sirius on his part had no expression, then his face split and he let out a riotous laugh and shoved Remus's shoulder.

"Fair point, Remus," he said, starting to walk towards the Great Hall again. "Though if you spent an afternoon in my house you'd understand."

Lunch was thick tomato soup and bread, but even that knocked Remus sick and he pushed it away after a few mouthfuls and poured himself a glass of water to try and steady his stomach. The bell rang and he stood to head to Defence Against the Dark Arts. He was walking out the Hall with James and Sirius when James turned to look behind them.

"All right, Evans," he said. "Calmed down since this morning?"

Lily was jogging to catch up with them, leaving her friends to look puzzled at her behaviour.

"I was," Lily said, shooting him a look. "And then I saw you." She looked at Remus. "Hi."

"Hi," Remus said, walking with her. "What's up?"

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"I need a reason to want to walk to a lesson with my friend?"

"Oh, no, it's just- well, I thought you'd be with Severus since we have Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins?"

Lily threw her wild hair over her shoulder, obviously irritated by something.

"He's in a bad mood," she said. She glanced back into the Great Hall where Snape was walking with a group of other Slytherin boys. He wasn't talking to them – he had his eyes on Lily and Remus.

"I can see," said Remus, amused. "What's wrong with him?"

Lily shook her head dismissively.

"It isn't important enough to bother other people with," she said. "How are you anyway? Enjoying it so far?"

They chatted until they reached the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Remus sat down at the desk in front of James and Sirius and, to his surprise, Lily sat next to him. A few seconds later, Snape walked in, saw Lily sat next to him, scowled, and sat next to Charles Avery. Peter wandered in soon after and ended up sitting next to Marlene McKinnon, who didn't seem too pleased by the arrangement, going off her pursed lips.

The chatter that filled the room died instantly when Professor Istus entered. She strode into the room with a determination that made Remus sit up and pay attention and when she turned to survey them all, the whole class waited with baited breath for her to say something. She smiled.

"Well, you lot all look like you've got your wits about you," she said in a gravelly voice as she surveyed the class with narrowed eyes. "Most of you, anyway." She reached into her dark green robes, pulled out her wand and waved it and the blackboard where _Defence Against the Dark Arts: First Year_ appeared in chalk as though being written by an invisible hand.

"In my lessons," continued Professor Istus, "I will be teaching you how to deal with creatures such as fire crabs and doxies-" _Dealing with Dark Creatures_ appeared on the board underneath what had just been written, "- along with teaching you spells for distress signals and simple defensive moves." _Simple Defensive Spells_ was added to the board.

Professor Istus put her wand away and dragged her chair from behind her desk so she was sat in front of her desk, facing them. She leant back and crossed her arms over her chest, making herself comfortable. Remus glanced at Lily; she too didn't seem to know what Istus was going to do next.

"Clear your desks," Professor Istus said, as though the idea had just occurred to her that second. "Wands away, too. We're going to have a class discussion this lesson. It'll be a nice little introduction to the course." Everyone did as they were told, a few raised eyebrows and Remus heard Sirius behind him whisper "Brilliant! We can just relax while she talks at us." Professor Istus obviously heard him as she quirked an eyebrow in his direction, however, she waited for the class to settle again before speaking.

"My job is not just to teach you how to fight off creatures and wizards who want to do you harm," she said, her voice much more serious than it had been earlier. "I also have to teach you who is trying to do you harm and why. Who here follows current affairs? Or gets the _Daily Prophet_?"

Remus raised his hand tentatively along with a few other people in the class, including Lily. Professor Istus registered the small number of people who had their hands up.

"Yes, I didn't expect there to be many of you, you are still very young," she said. She leant forward in the chair and clasped her hands together, resting her elbows on her knees. "I don't intend to scare you, or to ask you questions you can't possibly understand, but I do want you all to know that in this class we will not only be learning the practicalities of battling the Dark Arts, but also how they are impacting our lives and our wizarding community currently. The Dark Arts are not a thing of the past – they are a very real threat to our way of life and you must, even at your young age, know this. Those of you who had your hands up, you will be familiar with the headlines Professor Dumbledore referenced yesterday evening. The rest of you, I urge you to digest as much information about the word around you as possible. Nothing would make it easier for those who want to see our society changed to succeed than for you to have your eyes shut. In this class we will be having discussions on incidents and events that take place. I will not coddle you, but I will not stand for bigoted attitudes. What I do want is for us to be able understand why these things are happening and how we as a community fight it."

The class sat in a stunned silence. Remus himself was lost for words; he hadn't expected something so profound to come out of the tiny, elderly professor that sat in front of them. Sat still, she looked as though a strong wind would blow her over, yet her face was set in a steely, resolute expression. Somehow, Remus noticed, her eyes remained kind. Next to him, Lily raised a shaky hand.

"Miss Evans?" Istus asked.

"Professor," Lily said, her voice shaking slightly with nerves. The whole class had turned to look at her. "We're just first years. How are we supposed to make a difference?"

Istus smiled at her.

"Miss Evans," she said. "Do you honestly believe I was never a first year? That Dumbledore has always been as old as he is? And I don't want any of you telling him I said that." A ripple of quiet laughter ran through the room at this.

"The truth is, Miss Evans," continued Istus. "I am a firm believer in beginning as you mean to go on. If you intend to fight for equality and opportunity amongst all magical folk, then you must begin your journey of magical education knowing that there are those out there who wish to take those rights away from some of us."

"You mean Muggleborns?" said Lily. She had spoken confidently then suddenly blushed furiously when Avery snorted.

"Yes, Miss Evans, Muggleborns." She noticed Lily's embarrassment and tilted her head to one side and addressed the class. "Do not speak the term Muggleborn with shame. Magic being found in those who have no known magical parentage is a phenomenon that we don't yet understand – it is not something to be looked down upon, but something to be in awe of. I, personally, am incredibly proud of my blood status, and have never been afraid to say so."

Her eyes swept over Avery and he sank back into his chair, squirming in discomfort at being singled out in the class. Remus glanced at Lily; her eyes were wide and her gaze followed Istus with a reverence as she stood and began wiping the writing off the blackboard.

"Unfortunately," Istus said when the board was clean. "I can't discuss the virtues of a tolerant society all day, I do have to teach you something. If you could all take out your parchment and quills and take notes, please, we will begin with gnomes."

"Bad luck, Sirius," Remus heard James whisper as he reached into his bag along with the rest of the class. "Looks like you have to actually do some work."

"Ah, that's where you're wrong, Potter," Sirius quipped back. "I only have to look like I'm doing something."

Remus smirked and began writing down notes on what professor Istus was saying to them. Unfortunately, this half of the lesson was much less interesting than the first half.


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN: Apologies (again) for the late chapter. I'm right of the middle of my University exams, but they're nearly over so, hopefully, the next chapter won't take as long. I've also made this one nice and long as an apology. I hope you enjoy!**_

The weekend had passed without any major event; it had mostly involved James, Remus, and Sirius hanging out in the Gryffindor common room, or else exploring the grounds. They'd already been shooed away from the edge of the forest by Hagrid, and had managed to coax the giant squid to the surface of the lake by skimming stones across its surface. Unfortunately, they had been given homework to do, so that's what they found themselves doing late on Sunday afternoon.

The common room was so crowded due to the chilly September weather that they were lucky to find a pair of chairs between them, which James and Remus now occupied while Sirius laid sprawled across the floor in front of them by the stairway that led up to the girls' dormitories. The chatter that filled the room was lazy and heavy with the lethargy that was brought on by the end of the weekend and, just as they were, many students were working on homework they'd left until the last minute.

Sirius was laying on his stomach, wand balanced behind his ear, and quill in hand as he drew out a diagram of the solar system. As he etched in Saturn's rings he sighed, bored. James was sat in one of the deep red arm chairs in front of him, reading a chapter for Herbology they'd been set, and Remus was sat in the chair next to him, reading a muggle novel that Sirius had never heard of, as he'd finished his work. Sirius set down his quill and took his want out from behind his ear and aimed it stealthy at James, whose face was hidden behind his text book.

" _Wingardium Leviosa_ ," Sirius whispered, his hand making the appropriate movements. James's book slowly began to rise out of his hands to reveal his face, which was scowling at Sirius from behind his glasses.

"Don't be a prat, Sirius," he snapped, snatching the book back out of the air. "It was funny the first time but that's the third time you've done that this afternoon, are you bored?"

Remus hadn't even looked up from his book but Sirius could see him smirking.

"Yes," said Sirius, rolling onto his back and staring up to the beamed ceiling. "Fancy a game of exploding snap?"

"No," said James, finding his page. "I need to get this done for Sprout."

"Gobstones?"

"Sirius!"

Sirius laughed and sat up. James was buried back in his book but Remus had been well and truly distracted. He placed his book on the table beside him and glanced at his watch again – Sirius had noticed him doing it all afternoon.

"Counting down to something, Remus?"

"Hmm?" Remus looked up from his watch and looked at Sirius with slightly widened eyes. "No," he said hurriedly. "I've just got a meeting with Professor McGonagall at six."

Sirius's eyebrows knitted together and he flattened himself back on the floor, propping his chin up on his hand.

"What for?"

James had looked up from his textbook now and was surveying Remus with curiosity. Remus was looking uncomfortable; almost panicked.

"Remus?" said James, closing the book and shifting in his seat so he could better see his friend. "What's wrong?"

"My mother is ill," blurted Remus quickly.

Sirius blinked. He hadn't expected an answer so honest so quickly from Remus. James, however, was obviously more adept at dealing with situations like this.

"Remus, mate," he said kindly, reaching over and grasping Remus's shoulder. "I'm so sorry to hear it. Is she okay?"

Remus appeared to shrink into the huge armchair, making him look even smaller than he was – it didn't help that his feet didn't touch the floor and were dangling off the edge of the seat either. He gave them both a weak smile and shrugged.

"Not really," he said, looking at his hands. He glanced up, almost as though he was gauging their reactions first, Sirius noted. "I… I might have to go and see her for a few days."

Something twisted in Sirius's throat. This was serious. He wasn't quite sure what to do. So, he decided to make a joke.

"At least you'll be missing some lessons!" he said, trying to cheer him up. "Might even get out of double potions!"

As soon as he said it he knew it was the wrong thing to say. He inwardly cringed as he waited for their reactions. However, as he had been speaking, the portrait had swung open and Sian and Emma had entered the common room and, chatting, had made their way to the steps to the girls' dormitory. Unfortunately, as they had gone to step over Sirius's outstretched legs, he had chosen that moment to swing his feel up, accidentally catching Sian around the ankles. She screeched as she tripped and went flying onto the stairs, taking Emma with her, as she'd grabbed on to her. Sirius, James, Remus, and half the common room looked to watch Sian break the fall with her hands, narrowly avoiding smashing her face into the stone steps.

"Oh, no," breathed Remus as Sian and Emma disentangled themselves from each other. Sian straightened up and looked at Sirius, her face like thunder.

"Run, mate," said James under his breath, trying to control his laughter.

" _Black!_ " exploded Sian, looking like she could have killed him with her bare hands.

"Sorry, Duffy," Sirius said, a small apologetic smile on his face. "Didn't mean to, honestly."

Sian looked as though she was going to shout again, when her eyes looked past Sirius to the mass of onlookers, most of whom were just as amused as James. Sian's face flushed red. She turned tail and shot up the stairs, Emma running after her.

Sirius raised his eyebrows when they heard the dormitory door crash against the wall as Sian reached the top of the stairs.

"I think she's warming to us, you know," said James, as he picked his Herbology text book back up and tried to find his page. Sirius rolled on to his back and sighed heavily, staring up at the ceiling, bored that his friends were focusing on their work again, rather than him. He heard Remus stand after a few minutes.

"You off?" he asked, lifting his head off the floor so he could see.

Remus slung his bag over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'll see you both soon," he said as he turned for the portrait hole.

Sirius raised a hand in goodbye and James gave him a smile.

"Hope your mum feels okay, Remus," said Sirius, doing his best to put his apology for what he said earlier into his words.

"What? Oh, yeah," Remus said, stopping in his tracks for a second. "Thanks." And he disappeared out of the common room.

Sirius looked at James questioningly. James, who simply shrugged and looked back at his book, didn't seem confused by Remus's momentary lapse. Recognising that he wasn't going to get anything else out of James for a while, Sirius led back down on the floor and closed his eyes – completely ignoring the empty chair left by Remus.

I wasn't until a few moments later that he realised something was walking on his chest. His eyes shot open and he found himself nose to nose with a tiny black kitten. He yelled and sat up, causing the cat to dig its claws into the jumper he was wearing as it suddenly found itself vertical instead of horizontal.

"Get it off me," he growled at James as he tried to keep his face as far away from the cat as possible. James laughed and reached forward to ease the cat off his chest.

"He wasn't going to hurt you, Sirius," he said as he scratched it behind the ears. "Look, he's purring."

"He was probably trying to sneak up on me," Sirius said darkly, checking the stitching on his jumper where the cat's claws had been. "Trying to scratch my eyes out or something."

"Don't be stupid," James said with a laugh. He carried on silently playing with the kitten on his knee for a few moments but when he looked back at Sirius his eyes were full of concern. "Sirius?"

"Hmm?" Sirius didn't know where this was going.

"Are you okay?" James asked carefully. "Only, I saw you get a letter yesterday… and I saw your face when you opened it. I just want to know if you're okay?"

Sirius's felt his stomach constrict and his throat suddenly go dry. He'd pushed the letter out of his mind as soon as he'd read it and had almost managed to forget about it until James mentioned it. He pulled his bag towards him and rummaged through it until he found what he was looking for. He took the letter he had in there and passed it to James. James took it and looked at Sirius, a little nervously.

"You sure?" he asked.

Sirius nodded and James unfolded the parchment. Sirius could see his mother's handwriting through the back of the parchment where the light from the lamps shone through it, but he didn't need to look to know what was written there. He could perfectly recall what she had said.

 _Sirius,_

 _Your cousin, Narcissa, wrote to inform us that, unfortunately, you were not sorted into Slytherin. Your father was disappointed that you didn't write to tell us this yourself, although not surprised. Regulus was very upset at the news – he seemed to be under the impression that you were no longer welcome in our family. I told him that was absurd._

 _Being placed in a different house to the rest of us is not to say you are different from the Black family. Remember who you are, and also, remember that your new house tends to be much more tolerant of mudbloods and other types of degenerates than that which me and your father are comfortable with. We want you to be aware of that when you are mixing with your new class mates. I've asked Narcissa to keep an eye on you, along with Lucius. They will keep you in line._

 _I am saddened to say that, despite our best efforts, Andromeda has run off and married a mudblood named Tonks. Cutting her off financially and other threats didn't work and apparently, she waited until term started again so we would be distracted. You Aunt Druella is understandably distraught and hasn't left her rooms in days. Your Uncle seems to think he may still be able to track the scum that she married down and bring her back. We are hopeful._

 _We hope you are enjoying your classes. Make sure to go and see Narcissa when you can._

 _Mother._

When James had finished reading he looked up with wide eyes at Sirius, as though waiting for his friend to confirm if he felt the same was or not. Sirius took the letter back, still being careful not to get too close to the cat that had curled up on James's lap.

"Just so you know," Sirius said, calmly. "I don't agree with her or any of them when it comes to all that rubbish about blood purity. She can stuff all that up her starched skirts." He crumpled the letter and stuffed it roughly in his bag.

"Narcissa…" said James, recalling the name. "That's that blond girl who was sat at the Slytherin table?"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded. "She wants her and her boyfriend to keep an eye on me, now that I'm sharing a dorm with muggleborns and blood traitors." Sirius snorted with disgust. "Lucius is a right prat anyway - he's up to his ears in the dark arts and just hangs around Narcissa because he wants to be mates with her sister's nutter husband." Sirius fell quiet, suddenly aware that he said too much.

"Who's her husband?" James asked, his curiosity taking over.

Sirius thought about it and decided to trust him. He'd read the letter. He knew what his family was, and yet James was still here and still talking to him. If that hadn't scared him off, nothing else would.

"Rudolphus Lestrange."

"Rudolphus Lestrang-" James broke off, thinking. "Wasn't he the one in the _Prophet_ a few weeks ago? Something to do with a muggle death?"

"Yep," said Sirius, popping the word. "Like I said, he's a nutter."

"Is he in Azkaban now?"

"Doubt it, he was at my dinner table last week," Sirius didn't even try to keep the disgusted look off his face. "There was next to no evidence it was actually him, so they had to let him go. I'm pretty certain he did do it though."

James looked stunned.

"Is it not scary? To have people like that in your house?"

Sirius shrugged.

"Not really. Everyone in the family is anti-muggle so, mostly, they assume I am too. I don't start having arguments with them over dinner though, I don't want them to know I disagree – I just stay out the way."

There was an awkward silence between the two boys as they both thought about the conversation that had just passed between them. Sirius braced himself for every kind of negative reaction from James; from declarations that their friendship was over to his storming out the common room.

"What about your parents?" James asked quietly.

"They're the same – they just don't act on their views, as far as I'm aware. They believe that pure bloods are better than everyone else but I don't know how much they agree with some of the stuff Bella and Rudolphus get up to. Bella is my other cousin."

He added the last bit of information as a clarification but James hardly seemed to notice. He pushed his glasses back up his nose with his middle finger and his eyebrows came together as he thought.

"Do your parents know that you don't think the same way?"

Sirius nodded. He looked at the floor and started pulling at a loose fibre in the rug he was sat on.

"The older I get the more and more we disagree and argue," he said, sadly. He looked up at James and swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. He refused to cry over this. "To be honest with you, mate, I'm glad I don't have to be around them until Christmas."

"Well," James said, clearly trying to cheer him up. "At least there is that. Oh, look who is here."

James was nodding to the stairs behind Sirius. He turned to look and saw Lily stood on the bottom step, glancing around the common room.

"All right, Lily?" asked Sirius.

"Not really," she said, distractedly. "For some reason Sian decided to storm into our dormitory in a total rage and my kitten got out. I haven't been able to find him."

"Black cat, is it?" James asked.

"Yeah," said Lily.

"Yellow eyes?"

"Yes, have you -?"

"Likes to walk all over people?" grumbled Sirius

"Have you seen him or not?" snapped Lily.

"Calm down, Evans," said James dismissively. "He's here." James took the kitten from his side where it had curled up and held him out to Lily. She strode forward and took him before turning on the spot and hurrying over to the stairs.

"Thank you," she said, somewhat reluctantly. "And please can you stop calling me "Evans"? That's not my name."

"It's one of your names," said James, innocently.

Lily scowled at him and went to start up the stairs but she hesitated.

"What happened with Sian?" she said to Sirius, inquiringly. "Only, I heard your name in her rantings."

Sirius shrugged.

"I _may_ have accidentally tripped her and Emma up so that they went flying into that stair case," he said with his hands up.

Lily's face betrayed her with the hint of a smirk before she forced a neutral expression to take over. With a nod goodbye to the two of them, she disappeared up the steps.

"Why do you call her "Evans", anyway?" Sirius asked, tilting his head to the side.

James did a dismissive gesture with his hand.

"Dunno, I guess it just sounds right, doesn't it? Besides, you call Sian "Duffy.""

"Yeah, but that's because It winds her up and she's a bit of a cow so it's funny."

They both laughed and were quickly hushed by a group of seventh years, who were trying to do their own work.

….

Remus kept his eyes close for as long as possible when he woke. He knew he was in the Hospital Wing; the bed was uncomfortable and the sheets unfamiliar, and he could hear Madam Pomfrey moving around his bed.

A dull, throbbing ache was drawing his attention to his shoulder. His right arm felt heavier than normal, and the fingers on that hand were tingling. Remus took a breath and tried to will the uncomfortable sensations away, but his head felt cloudy and he couldn't manage it. His mind flitted back to what little he could remember from the night before. He'd passed out when he'd transformed back into himself, as he normally did, but just before that he'd been stood in an upstairs bedroom of the house he'd been left in. There were no chairs left – he'd destroyed them all – and the chest of drawers had huge scratches across its front. There was, however, a bed that he'd mercifully left intact. As his vison was darkening and his ears ringing, he had somehow managed to get himself onto the huge bed and had curled up, gladly letting unconsciousness take him over.

It wasn't until he felt a hand gently press against his forehead that he forced his eyes open. Madam Pomfrey was leaning over him, checking his temperature and looking concerned.

"Ah, you're awake," she said, not unkindly. "How are you feeling."

Remus said nothing. Instead he leaned over the side of the bed and threw up. Luckily, Madam Pomfrey seemed to have anticipated this as there was a bucket there to catch the vomit.

"Not very well, obviously," she said, lazily waving her wand and vanishing the sick from the bucket. "I am sorry, my dear, I gave you a few different potions for the pain and the healing. The mixture can sometimes lead to nausea." She took a notebook from the bedside table and made a note in it. "We'll change them for next month."

Remus was too exhausted to feel embarrassed at throwing up in front of her. He went to take a glass of water from the bedside table when a sharp pain shot up his arm and through his shoulder.

"Ouch," he hissed. Madam Pomfrey handed him the water and moved his pyjama sleeve so she could examine his arm. "What did I do?"

"I think you started clawing and chewing your own upper arm, Mr Lupin," Madam Pomfrey said, as though it was a perfectly normal thing to do. She began slowly rotating the arm and rolling his shoulder back. "It was quite a mess when I found you, but I fixed it and it looks fine now. It will just take a bit longer to feel back to normal though. You were still asleep so I brought you here without waking you, I hope you don't mind. Does that hurt?"

Remus had jerked away as his arm moved into a particularly painful position.

"Yes," he said shortly. "And no, I don't mind. It's easier that way. What time is it, do you know?"

"It's half one on Monday afternoon, you slept for quite a while," said Madam Pomfrey as she made another note. "Professor McGonagall came to see how you were this morning but I sent her away. You weren't awake, and in any case, you aren't in a fit state for visitors."

Remus smiled and settled back on to his pillow, relieved. He didn't like the idea of people milling around him while he was unconscious. Madam Pomfrey handed him a cup containing something that smelt of aniseed and something medicinal.

"What's this?" he asked, taking it hesitantly.

"It's for your arm," she said, looking like she would force it down him if he kept on questioning him. "You need to try and go back to sleep as well so I'll give you dreamless sleep draft in half an hour – I can't give you one as soon as you've had that. I should warn you-" she added as Remus swallowed the potion "- that will make you sick again in a few hours when you wake up."

"Wonderful," muttered Remus to himself as she busted off to her office.

….

"I find her quite fascinating, Severus," Lily said, dropping her bag on the floor.

"I just don't like the way she preaches at us," Severus said, frustrated. "Shouldn't we be able to make up our own minds?"

"Our own minds about what?"

Severus rolled his eyes. They were walking back through the Entrance Hall after dinner on Monday evening and had stopped by the hourglasses to talk. The conversation had turned to Professor Istus.

"She should just stick to teaching us defensive magic, rather than letting us hear her own opinions," Severus said defensively. "That's all."

Lily frowned.

"I don't think you liked the way she called out Avery for what he said the other day," she said, challenging him.

"H - he didn't say anything worth her giving him a detention!" he spluttered.

"Sev," Lily said, beginning to get angry. "He said that wizards are better than muggles!"

Severus shifted uncomfortably.

"And you agree with him!" said Lily, pointing at him, her nostrils flaring.

He back tracked quickly.

"I don't think they're _better,"_ he said carefully. "Just that, well, you should really prioritise your own people first, shouldn't you? I'm not condoning attacking muggles, only its pretty obvious that wizards are slightly better, I mean, look what wizards can do!"

Lily was enraged. She couldn't quite believe what she was hearing.

"And who are _my people_ , Sev?" she said, placing her hands on her hips. "Do I prioritise muggles – my family – or wizards?"

Snape chewed his lip and glanced around him, as though hoping he'd find the answer somewhere.

"Well… It isn't that simple, Lily."

"No, it isn't." she glared at him, hands still on her hips. Severus's resolve seemed to crumble.

"Look, I'm sorry," he said, looking at the floor. "I didn't mean it to come out the way it did. And I'm sorry for having a go at Istus." He looked up at her with a small smile on her face.

"Fine," she said, picking up her bag. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

She left him standing where he was and didn't look back as she started up the marble staircase. At the top she quickly glance over her shoulder but he was gone.

She tried to force what had been annoying her all week out of her mind but the more she tried the more it hung over. Lily had been terrified that she would be the only one without wizarding parents at Hogwarts, despite Severus telling her there were plenty others like her. He was right, of course; Mary was muggleborn, and Emmeline's dad was a muggle. Plenty of her classmates were too. This had placated her a little. What she hadn't expected was the resentment she felt from some students. Lily was sure that Sian was sneering at her as she spoke and a Hufflepuff girl, Sally Ogden, had made a cruel joke about muggleborns being stupid compared to pure bloods. The wizarding politics that surrounded blood purity were making her head spin and, when she had turned to Severus for support, his response had been disappointingly lukewarm.

"I'm not saying it is right," he had said to her earlier in the week while they were sat out in the grounds, soaking up the last real sunshine of the year. "But, that's just how it is. Muggles aren't the same as us so, obviously, muggleborns are teased, even though you are a witch. It's just a joke, Lily, you can't take these things too seriously."

"It isn't funny though, Sev," she had said, trying to get through to him. "It is quite upsetting, actually."

His response to that had been to shrug, as if to say "that's how the world works and there's nothing we can do about it."

Lily sighed as she walked through the corridors. She might have had less of an issue with Severus' change of opinion if it hadn't coincided with him meeting his new friends in Slytherin. Lily got on well with most of them but a few of those Severus was hanging around with more and more put her on edge. Charles Avery and Caelum Mulciber were loud and argumentative in their classes – especially Defence Against the Dark Arts – while Evan Rosier sat in silence. On the rare occasion Lily made eye contact with him, her whole body went cold and she quickly looked away.

It wasn't until she reached the top of the staircase and stepped on to the seventh floor that Lily heard a peculiar noise coming from up ahead. It was someone breathing, but slow, and very heavy. She stepped forward carefully until a boy, leaning against the wall for support with his head down, came into view.

"Remus?"

Remus lifted his head and glanced behind to where Lily was stood only to close his eyes again and let his head droop.

"Are you okay?" said Lily as she jogged over. She walked around him and placed a hand on his arm, attempting to take some of his weight. Now closer, she could see just how awful he looked.

Remus had bags under his bloodshot eyes and he looked extremely pale. He swayed a little as he tried to stand and when Lily reached out to touch his other shoulder he visibly flinched away from her touch.

"Should I take you to the Hospital Wing?" Lily asked, beginning to panic. "You look like you're about to pass out, Remus."

He shook his head weakly.

"No. I'm fine, honestly," he smiled a little at Lily's disbelieving expression. "I just stopped for a breather… I need the loo so I ran up the stairs."

Lily frowned.

"There's a boys bathroom on the ground floor?"

Remus blinked.

"Oh," he said, flushing red. "Well… I'll remember that next time."

He straightened up and began walking towards the Fat Lady's portrait. Lily watched him for a second, stunned, before catching up.

"Are you sure you don't need me to get Madam Pomfrey? Or McGonagall? You really don't look well."

"Lily, I'm fine," Remus said, a little sharply. " _Bubotuber."_ He sighed as the Fat Lady swung forwards. He stepped back to let her through first. When they were both in the common room he nodded his goodbye and Lily watched him disappear up the stairs. She frowned. Something wasn't quite right, but she didn't feel like she knew him well enough to pry too much yet, so she let it slide and went to sit with Marlene on one of the sofas.

"Where is everyone?" Lily asked as she pulled her legs up and tucked them underneath her. The sofa was so large and squishy she almost sank right into it.

Marlene was flicking though a _Prophet_ someone had abandoned and didn't look up as she spoke.

"Hi, Lily," she said, distractedly. "Mary is sending a letter and Emmeline went with her. Don't know where Sian and Emma are – frankly, I couldn't care less."

Lily smiled despite herself.

"How was your argument with Snape, anyway?" Marlene asked, throwing the paper aside and tossing her hair out of her face. "I heard you in the Entrance Hall when I left after dinner."

Lily pulled a face.

"It wasn't really an argument."

"Really? Because it sounded like he was being a prat."

"Marlene…"

"Sorry," she said, holding up her hands. "He's your friend, I know. So, what was the non-argument about?"

Lily shrugged.

"Not much, he was complaining about Professor Istus' style of teaching."

"That she's preachy?" Marlene asked in a matter of fact voice.

"Yeah," Lily said, slowly, confused as to how Marlene guessed. She could obviously tell what Lily was thinking.

"I heard a group of Slytherin fifth years complaining about the same thing," she said. "I don't think she's popular in their house."

"Well, I like her," Lily said shortly, tired of this debate; she'd had it with Severus and she didn't want to have it again with Marlene.

Marlene simply laughed at her tone.

"Hey, I agree!" she said, grinning. "There's no point learning all this stuff if we don't know why we're learning it. Although, I don't see what a huge threat gnomes are." She added darkly. Both girls began to laugh as Mary and Emmeline sat down with them and joined in with their conversation.

"Oh, I forgot to ask," Marlene said after a while. "Was that Remus Lupin you walked in with earlier?"

"Yeah, it was," said Lily. "I bumped into him on the corridor on my way up."

"Did he say where he was today?" Mary chimed in. "Because I asked James and Sirius earlier and neither of them would say."

Lily found this interesting. Either Remus hadn't told his two friends where he'd been, or they knew and Remus didn't want other people knowing. Whichever it was, Lily got the feeling this wasn't something to gossip about.

"No," she said innocently, and the subject was dropped.

Emmeline, who had been scanning _The Prophet_ that Marlene had left, let out a low whistle.

"What is it?" asked Lily. "I didn't get to look at a copy today."

Emmeline, with a grim expression, turned the paper around so they could all read the headline that was emblazoned in bold across the page. _DEAD MUGGLEBORN MINISTRY WITCH'S MISSING FAMILY KILLED_ it screamed. The remainder of the page was taken up by a picture; the same smiley, happy photograph that she had seen on the edition on the Hogwarts Express. The father had blonde hair and the children could not have been more than six years old. They both climbed over their parents in the picture, screaming with laughter that Lily could not hear.

"I saw that," Marlene said heavily. "It's horrible."

"What does the article say," Mary asked of Emmeline She looked as sick as Lily was feeling. Lily wasn't sure she wanted to hear, but she didn't protest when Emmeline began to read aloud.

"Let me find it," Emmeline said, scanning the article. " _Mother killed last week…_ yeah, we know that already… Ah, here we go." She cleared her throat and smoothed out the page. " _Late last night Ministry Officials were alerted to a disturbance in the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic and, when they arrived on the scene, they discovered –_ Oh, god." Emmeline's hand went to her mouth and she looked as though she would cry.

"What?" Lily said, scared to hear the rest but also needing to.

Emmeline swallowed and continued, though her voice shook a little as she spoke.

"… _They discovered the bodies of a man and two children. The body of one of the children had a note attached to it, according to sources. The Ministry has since confirmed in a statement that the bodies are those of Benjamin Elliot, a muggle, and husband of Ministry of Magic employee Melanie Elliot, whose body was discovered last week, and their two children; Max, 6, and Lucy, 4. All three bodies showed evidence of the cruciatus curse and the killing curse. The Ministry has not denied the existence of a note but its contents are, at the present moment, unknown. More on this story on page 2."_

Emmeline lowered the paper and looked at the other three girls, none of whom said a thing. Lily felt as though she would throw up. An image of two tiny children, lying next to their father, being left in the Ministry came to her and she had to squeeze her eyes shut to make it go away. She looked to Mary and saw that she looked the same way. She, like Lily, must have noticed the repetition of the family's blood status. The headline had even begun with the phrase " _Dead Muggleborn."_ This, on top of the argument with Severus was too much and she closed her eyes again to try and calm herself down. Lily hadn't even noticed her hand was shaking until Mary wrapped her own around it.

"Well," said a bright voice. "You lot all look very happy."

Lily opened her eyes. Sirius Black and James Potter had swaggered over from the portrait hole and were now looking at their sombre group with amused expressions. Lily felt her face flush with anger at them. She said nothing. Instead she stood, took the paper from Emmeline, and shoved it roughly at James.

"Read that, Potter," she spat. "And then see if you still want to take the mick."

James raised his eyebrows at her response but, nonetheless, dropped his eyes to the paper and Sirius read over his shoulder. Lily watched their expressions with her arms crossed and was slightly mollified to see the amusement slide away and be replaced with horror.

"Merlin," Sirius breathed, looking to James, who had his mouth hanging open. "Does it say if they've caught anyone?"

Marlene shook her head.

"They're not saying that much, to be honest," she said.

"Probably because the Aurors will be working on it," James mumbled with his eyes still focused on the text.

The group debated what could be going on for a time, but mostly just expressed how disturbing and horrific the whole situation was. Eventually, James and Sirius left to go up to their own dormitory and the girls did the same.

Sian and Emma were already asleep when they entered, what with it approaching midnight by now. Lily undressed, changed into her pyjamas, brushed her teeth, and got into bed with her mind buzzing. A tightness, caused by anxiety over what was written in the note, had settled inside her chest and, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fall asleep.

"Lily?" a small voice whispered from the bed next to hers. It was Mary. "Lily, are you awake."

"Yeah," Lily whispered back.

Mary didn't speak immediately, and the silence hung in the air as Lily strained her ears to hear.

"Do you think," Mary began, her voice breaking she was keeping it so quiet. "On that note, that there could be something about us? About people like us? Muggleborns?"

"I don't know," Lily said, trying to be as kind as possible. But she did know. She was convinced she knew exactly what would be written on it and she tried, until the early hours of the morning, to drift off and ignore what she knew would be on the note, found attached to the child's tiny body.


	5. Chapter 5

"Morning," Emmeline said in a singsong voice as she sat down across from Lily at the Gryffindor table. Lily looked up from her cornflakes to smile back at her. Marlene was sat next to her sipping a glass of pumpkin juice and buttering toast at the same time while Mary was attempting to read about Goblin Rebellions in the 14th century.

"Morning, Em," muttered Mary, not looking up from her textbook. Emmeline screwed her nose up at the nickname but appeared to let it slide. Mary shut the book and let out a frustrated noise.

"Christ, how can I find Goblins starting a coup dull?" she said, glaring at the text book as though it had personally insulted her.

"Maybe because its nine in the morning on a Sunday and no normal person is reading text books at this time," suggested Marlene. "Anyway, why do you say "Christ" like that? It's such an odd phrase."

"Because "Merlin" hasn't been in my vocabulary for the last eleven years," Mary said sharply. "Can you imagine your parents speaking like that, Lily? Muggles just don't say things like "Merlin.""

Marlene shrugged non-argumentatively but Lily had to laugh. She thought of Petunia saying some of the things she'd heard from students from wizarding families and it sounded so odd in her head it was amusing. Mary had a point though; it was taking her a while to adjust to the different way of talking.

"So, what are we going to do today?" Emmeline asked as she cracked a boiled egg and started dipping toast into the yolk. "I don't want to spend all day in the common room."

"The Quidditch try-outs start in an hour," said Lily, checking her watch. "We could go down and sit in the stands?"

"Sounds like a plan," said Emmeline.

Any further conversation was stopped by the sudden influx of owls into the hall, sweeping through the rafters and dropping parcels and letters to their owners. A Prophet was dropped in front of Mary, but before she could read it, Lily had snatched it out her hands.

" _Hey_ ," whined Mary, inspecting the paper cut she'd just gained.

Lily ignored her. She was too busy reading the article headlined _DEATH EATERS MAKE THEIR DEMANDS: CALLS FOR FIRING OF ALL MUGGLEBORN MINISTRY EMPLOYEES_.

"Death eaters? What are they?" Marlene had leant over to read the page, all the while chewing on her toast.

"I'm not sure," Lily said, scanning the page. "Oh, hang on. ' _Our sources inform us that the Death Eaters are an elusive band of wizards who promote blood purity and the control of the muggle population by wizards'_. Well, they seem nice don't they."

"Are these the people who killed that family?" Mary asked. Lily nodded.

"It says here that unless the Ministry begins to fire all muggleborn staff they will carry on killing muggle-wizarding families."

Lily lowered the paper and looked at Mary, who had the same grim expression on her face.

"But," said Emmeline, looking confused. "The Ministry won't listen, will it?"

"No," said Marlene, firmly. "They can't. They can't give them what they want."

"But maybe they should," Emmeline said, timidly. She was picking at the skin on her lip and her eyes were wide. "I mean, they have already killed people, maybe they should just listen to stop this kind of thing happening."

Marlene gaped at her.

"Are you mad?" she said. "They can't kick all the muggleborn staff out, that's how these things start!"

"What _things_ , Marlene?" Emmeline said, irritated.

Marlene simply looked at her, exasperated. Lily sighed.

"There's nothing we can do anyway," she said, with a small smile intended to calm the situation.

People from the Gryffindor table had begun to move out of the hall to make their way down to the pitch. A blond-haired, Ravenclaw boy, a few years older than them, stopped by them with his friends.

"You going down to watch tryouts, Marlene?" he said. He had a familiar face, Lily couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Yeah, we will be," Marlene said. "Where are you off to?"

"Me, Kingsley, and Benjy are going to try and watch – to scope out the competition," he said nodding to the tall boy to his left and then to the boy with a mop of mousy hair to his right. "McGonagall will probably kick us out though."

Emmeline looked up.

"Will Professor McGonagall be there?" she said, panicked. "I owe her transfiguration homework."

The boy Lily assumed was Kingsley laughed.

"Madeline McGonagall," he said to Emmeline. "She's the Gryffindor captain and Professor McGonagall's niece. She's a fantastic flyer too." Kingsley's eyes glazed over a little as his mind became preoccupied with the Gryffindor captain's talent on the quidditch field. Benjy elbowed him and snorted.

"Kingsley is in love with her," he said, smirking at Marlene. Kingsley didn't even look fazed.

"I appreciate her skills, that's all," he said with a shrug. The blond boy rolled his eyes.

"Anyway," he said, leading his friends away. "I might see you down there, Marlene, yeah?"

Marlene nodded over her pumpkin juice but said no more. It was then that Lily made the connection.

"Is he related to you?" she asked.

Marlene nodded again.

"Isaac," she said with a small smile. "He's my brother. He's a prat but he's all right."

Lily grinned at the comment but at the same time, felt a pang in her chest. She couldn't remember that last time her and Petunia had that kind of banter. Marlene drained her cup and stood.

"Shall we go down?" she said. They all got to their feet, Emmeline wrapping a scarf around her neck and Lily pulling on her mittens. Mary laughed quietly to herself.

"What's funny?" asked Lily, fastening the clasp on her cloak.

"Imagine being McGonagall's niece."

….

Remus shivered as the breeze found its way through the fabric of his coat. He stamped his feet on the seat he was resting them on to try and warm them up. He was sat halfway up the stands, watching the try outs begin on the pitch below. A tall girl seemed to be organising everyone into groups but, due to the height and the wind, he couldn't make out exactly what she was saying. He could see James and Sirius though, clutching school broomsticks. Remus smiled. They liked to act confident, but from up where Remus was sitting, they seemed much smaller than everyone else on the pitch. The smile drifted away. He'd managed to keep his first transformation a secret pretty well; he'd managed to get up to the dormitory and into bed before James and Sirius had seen him and, in the morning, had explained his early night by saying he was tired from the journey. The only person who'd seen him ill had been Lily and he thought, or, at least hoped, that she wouldn't tell anyone. He glanced at the mass of red hair that was whipping around in the breeze, about ten seats below him. Lily and her friends were chatting and watching the tryouts, the same as him, but they seemed to have a lot to talk about.

He was debating whether or not to go and join them when he heard a voice speak to him.

"Hey! Remus!"

Peter Pettigrew was making his way up the steps to sit with him, looking exhausted by the effort of it. It couldn't have helped that he was carrying a bag with him either.

"Hi, Peter."

By the time he had collapsed into the seat next to Remus, Peter was red faced and panting. He gave him a second to get his breath back.

"Where are Sam and Noel?"

Peter inclined his head a few rows below them. Remus looked. Sam and Noel were sat laughing with some Hufflepuff boys he didn't know, looking like they were having a great time. Peter, on the other hand, was looking a bit put out.

"Did something happen?" Remus asked.

Peter shrugged and pulled at the hem on his sleeve.

"I'm not sure. They just seemed to go off me. I don't know what I did, but I don't think they want to be my friend anymore," His lip trembled slightly but then he shook his head and forced a smile. "It doesn't matter though – I'm fine."

Remus smiled back but he felt guilty. He hadn't even thought about how Peter must have been feeling recently. He, James, and Sirius had split off from him as soon as they had arrived at Hogwarts and had left him to fend for himself. Obviously, Peter hadn't fitted in with Noel and Sam as well as Remus had fitted in with James and Sirius.

A chill ran through him again and he pulled his coat a bit tighter.

"Are you cold?" Peter asked. "Here."

He leaned forward and pulled a flask and two mugs from his bag. He passed one of the mugs to Remus, who took it with a quiet thank you, and opened the flask, struggling with his mittens. When they both had steaming, full cups of hot chocolate, Remus took a sip. It warmed him instantly, all the way down to his toes. He launched himself into conversation with Peter, trying his best to distract him from his sombre mood.

Twenty minutes later, they were joined by James, and a very annoyed Sirius. Sirius huffed his way to the bench Remus and Peter were sat on. James followed, not even trying to contain his laughter.

"What happened?" asked Remus. "Did you get on the team?"

"Did we heck as like," grumbled Sirius. "Shut up, James."

"I'm sorry," James said, clutching his side and sitting down next to Peter. "It's just too funny."

"What was?" asked Peter. James seemed to only notice his presence when he spoke. He glanced at him but then continued as if nothing was different.

"You didn't see?"

Remus shook his head. James cleared his throat, excited to get to tell the story.

"So, me and Sirius had just been told we weren't getting on the team because we were first years," he paused to shrug at this point, as though he knew that would happen, "and then, Sirius gets into a strop saying it's unfair and that he's just as good and any of the older ones, and then," James had to stop – he couldn't find the words as he was laughing so much, "and then, the prat storms over to Madeline, demands to be able to fly again, goes to take off, but because he doesn't have his feet right, the broom shoots off and leaves him flat on his backside."

Remus and Peter joined in laughing.

"Piss off, the lot of you," Sirius said, but, despite himself, he was smiling.

….

The next morning, Sirius awoke to sore legs and movement all around him.

" _Whatimeit?_ " he slurred, rubbing his eyes and pulling on his dressing gown.

"Breakfast time," said Remus. He threw something at Sirius, who ducked, only to realise it was his robes. "We're late. Come on."

Five minutes later, he, James, Remus and, unfortunately, Peter were leaving the common room to go for breakfast. They chatted about the Quidditch tryouts, laughed when Remus nearly got caught in the trick step, and gossiped about various classmates. It wasn't until they reached the bottom of the marble stair case that he heard his name being called.

"Sirius!"

He turned. Stood, leaning against a pillar, next to a corridor that led down to the dungeons, was Narcissa with Lucius next to her, looking foreboding. Narcissa beckoned him over with a hand and a smile.

"What does she want?"

James had stopped next to him and was looking at his cousin with dislike on his face.

"No idea," said Sirius with a sigh. "I should go and see though."

"You better be quick," James said. "We've only got a few minutes before the bell."

Sirius nodded and left them to walk over to Narcissa and Lucius. She was still smiling a kind, reassuring smile, but the way Lucius wasn't even attempting to hide is stern expression made him think that she wasn't about to bestow good news.

"Morning, Sirius," she said brightly. "Sleep well?"

"I've not eaten and I have five minutes before defence against the dark arts," he said, trying his best not to look at Lucius. It was easy to be smart with Cissy – she had always been a bit of a push over and would not retaliate - not like Bella. Right now, Lucius was reminding him quite strongly of Bella. "Can you make this quick?"

Narcissa bit her lip and glanced at Lucius. He said nothing.

"The thing is, Sirius," she said, her voice a little more shaky now. "We need to ask a favour."

"What do you need?" Sirius said shortly.

"Do you remember a few weeks ago, when Bella and her husband came round for dinner?"

"Yeah?"

"Well…" Narcissa trailed off as she thought about what to say. "Well, if anyone asks – not that they will – but if they do…"

"We need you to say that they stayed the night," interrupted Lucius. He had stopped leaning on the wall now and was stood quite close, looking down over Sirius. He suddenly noticed how cold his eyes looked.

Sirius swallowed. He cast his mind back to that night. The whole family had been there and it had been the last time he had seen Andromeda before she got married. Bella and Rudolphus had stayed to eat and had been acting normally – at least for them – but they hadn't stayed all night. He distinctly remembered someone knocking on the door and them leaving with whoever it was.

"But… they didn't," he said in a small voice.

Narcissa looked at Lucius and gave him a small nod. Out of nowhere, Lucius had seized Sirius's upper arm and was steering him towards a door.

"What the hell are you doing!" cried Sirius, as Lucius dragged him through, followed by Narcissa, who shut the door behind them.

They were in a small classroom, one that he hadn't been in before. Lucius pulled out a chair from a desk and indicated that Sirius should sit.

"I'll stand, thanks," he said, rubbing his arm.

Narcissa sighed.

"Just sit down, Sirius," she snapped.

He did so, his eyes wide with confusion. As he did, he noticed Lucius had drawn his wand.

"What's going on," he said, not even attempting to hide the fear in his voice now.

"This doesn't have to be a big issue Sirius," Lucius said, slowly. This was probably the first time he had ever addressed him directly, and Sirius didn't like it. He spoke as though he was on the edge of tipping over into something; whether it be rage, violence, or even sadness. The uncertainty made Sirius nervous.

"All you have to do," Lucius continued, "is tell anyone that asks that Bella and Rudolphus were at Grimauld Place all night that night. If you do that, then we won't need to have another chat."

"We are just looking out for you Sirius," said Narcissa, back to her calm, friendly demeanour.

Sirius nodded, his eyes still on Lucius's wand.

"Okay, I'll say that if anyone asks."

"That's great," said Lucius, stepping away and putting his wand back in his robes. He walked to the door and held it open. "You better not be late for defence, Sirius."

Shell-shocked and too confused to speak, Sirius stood on slightly wobbly legs and walked back into the entrance hall. He glanced back to Narcissa and Lucius who were still in the classroom.

"Don't worry, Sirius," Narcissa said. "You're doing your mother proud."

That was what he was afraid of. Lucius let the door swing shut, separating them, and he let out a huge sigh of relief.

What had all that been about? Why would people be asking where Bella and her husband had been? Who were these "people"? He couldn't help but feel he was being sucked into something he really didn't want to be involved in. He considered going to McGonagall – but then, he didn't actually know that there was anything untoward happening. Bella and Rudolphus leaving wasn't a crime, and neither was Cissy asking him to lie about it, although it was weird.

Before he could think much more about what had just happened, James, Remus, and Peter appeared.

"You look happy," said James sarcastically, taking in Sirius' expression. "What did they want?"

"Later," grumbled Sirius. He really didn't want to have this conversation in front of Peter. "Come on, we'll be late for Istus."

They set off but Sirius had only taken a few steps before his stomach growled.

"For Merlin's sake!" he said. "I didn't get to eat anything."

"James mentioned that," said Peter. They'd fallen into step together while Remus and James were chatting slightly ahead. "So, I brought you this."

He passed Sirius some toast, wrapped in a napkin. Sirius blinked. He wasn't quite sure what to do. Why had Peter done this? As much as he could remember, Sirius hadn't had much to do with him since their first day.

"Er… thanks," he said, taking the toast. Peter smiled.

By the time they reached the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom most of their classmates had already arrived. As soon as she saw them, Lily jogged over with a _Prophet_ in her hand and her friends in tow.

"Have you seen?" she asked Remus, passing him the paper. The other girls were grim faced and Marlene kept glancing over her shoulder to give the Slytherin boys dirty looks.

Remus took the paper and Sirius read over his shoulder.

"They're trying to get rid of muggleborns form the ministry?" James said, scandalised. "That's not on at all."

"No, it's not," said Lily. Her face was flushed with anger and Sirius could tears sparkling in her eyes. "It's the same people who killed that muggle family a few weeks ago, too."

Something clicked in Sirius's mind. _A few weeks ago_. He ran the weeks back in his head and tried to make it all fit together.

"Wait, when were they killed?" he asked earnestly, looking around for someone to give him the answer.

"Um, the Ministry witch was killed the weekend before we left for Hogwarts," provided Lily.

Sirius felt sick. His body went cold and his head spun. The dates matched. He knew Bella and Rudolphus were involved in shady doings, but he never though it could be something like this. Sure, he joked about Rudolphus being a psychopath, but he had never entertained the idea that he and Bella would actually have killed someone. To see the images of the dead family on the cover of the _Prophet_ , smiling, completely oblivious as to what was coming for them, and then to imagine his cousin – his family member – being responsible for their torture and death was too much. And Narcissa and Lucius knew; why else would they have told him to lie about where they were? He closed his eyes and tried to shut it out. However, despite his best efforts, he could still hear the conversation around him.

"I'm going to slap Avery if he doesn't pack it in," he heard Marlene growl.

"What's he done?" asked Peter.

"Lily went to talk to Severus about the Death Eater people's demands and Avery just laughed. They're still talking about it now."

"Oi, McKinnon!"

Sirius opened his eyes. Charles Avery had obviously heard Marlene talking about him as he'd just called over to her. He had a vicious grin on his face and seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

"What do you want, Avery?" snapped Marlene.

"Can't you see we're talking about you and not to you?" chimed in Mary.

Avery shrugged.

"Just wondering if you're looking forward to discussing the news with the old bag, Istus," He said. "I'm starting to look forward to the next mudblood death because it means a lesson of no work."

Several people around them gasped. Caelem Mulciber and Evan Rosier snickered. Snape looked awkward. James and Marlene started shouting as much abuse as they could, while Lily and Mary looked confused. Sirius himself had had enough. He could feel his fury reaching breaking point. He wanted to curse Avery and he wanted to do it now. Unfortunately, he knew no curses and the appearance of Professor Istus made everyone fall silent.

"Inside, everyone, if you please," she said, holding the door open. They filed in, Sirius sitting next to James, behind Peter and Remus.

"What's got you in a mood, mate," said James as they took out their books. "Your hands are shaking."

"I'm going to murder Avery if he opens his mouth one more time," Sirius growled. He was twisting his hands around his wand in fury and the end crackled slightly.

"Alright," Istus began, taking her usual seat on the edge of her desk and pushing her frizzy hair behind her ears. "I will be carrying on from our last lesson but I feel it would be wrong for me not to acknowledge today's news. I can see from some of your faces that you have heard what has happened. A group of people who go by the name the Death Eaters have delivered a demand that muggleborn Ministry employees be removed from their positions. I want to be quite clear; _that will not happen."_

Istus looked as if she was about to continue with her speech, however, she was stopped from doing so by Avery.

"Unfortunately," he said in a carrying whisper.

Istus looked furious, but Sirius didn't care. He barely even heard her give him a detention. Instead he pointed his wand at Avery and spoke the first spell that came to him.

" _Flipendo_!"

The jinx hit Avery in the shoulder and, with a yell, he was sent flying onto the floor. The people in the seats next to him were shouting, Marlene was cheering, James, Remus, and Peter were laughing, and Istus was demanding the four of them tell her who cast the spell.

"Tell me right now who of the four of you cast that jinx or I'll have no choice but to place you all in detention."

Her eyes passed over them, looking terrifying. Sirius wasn't concerned until her eyes landed on Peter. He had no worry of James or Remus giving him up, but Peter was a different story. He didn't know him and didn't consider him a friend at all. What he didn't need right now was word getting back to his mother that he'd got himself into a fight over this – especially after his conversation with Narcissa.

Peter looked up to Istus with eyes that looked like they were about to tear up. Sirius held his breath but it was unnecessary. Peter just shrugged.

Istus looked hugely disappointed and shook her head.

"I'm sorry to the three of you who did nothing but you brought this on yourselves," she said, sitting down at her desk. "You'll all be in detention tonight. I'll be speaking to Professor McGonagall."

The rest of the lesson passed with a heavy silence over it, but when they did eventually leave, James, Peter and Remus burst into raucous laughter. Despite his bad mood, Sirius couldn't help but smile.

"That was brilliant, Sirius," James wheezed, slapping him on the back.

"His face!" cried Peter.

"Where did you learn that jinx?" demanded Remus. "We haven't been taught that yet!"

"My cousin, Bella, is quick to use her wand when she's in a bad mood," said Sirius with a dark smile. "You pick things up." The irony was almost too much. He turned to Peter. "You didn't tell her. Why didn't you?"

Peter shrugged again.

"He deserved it," he said simply. Peter grinned and started walking to their next lesson. Sirius smiled to himself and followed.

….

"James," said a voice.

James looked up from his Quidditch magazine to see Lily walking over.

"You all right, Evans?" he said, checking his page and tossing it on to the chair next to him.

He was sat in the common room alone that evening, waiting for 8pm to roll around so he could do his detention.  
Lily rolled her eyes but decided to ignore the quip. She pushed the magazine to the side and sat down on the chair.

"Aren't you supposed to be in detention?" she asked raising her eyebrows and smirking.

James couldn't help it. She seemed to be enjoying the idea of him being in trouble and it put his back up.

"Not until later," he said bluntly. "What do you want, Lily?"

She seemed to realise she'd offended him. Her face went pink and she shook some of her hair forward to hide it.

"Sorry," she said quietly. "I just wondered which one of you it was that hit Avery with that spell – Marlene said she was going to buy whoever it was fifty chocolate frogs." She laughed and gestured over her shoulder to where Marlene and the other girls were sat. Mary was animatedly telling a story about something while the others looked on. Most were interested, but Sian was doing her best to appear indifferent.

"Fifty chocolate frogs?" said James. "It was me then."

"Hilarious," Lily deadpanned. "Seriously though, who was it?"

"Sirius."

Lily looked stunned.

"Sirius?" she said with wide eyes. "But… he's a pure blood?"

James frowned.

"I'm a pure blood?" he said, challengingly. "Does that mean I'm supposed to be okay with the stuff Avery was saying?"

Lily went even more pink, something he didn't think was possible.

"No, that's not what I meant. I – its just- " she gaped, trying to explain herself. James waited with raised eyebrows. "It's just- well, yeah, you are a pure blood, but he's, you know, a _Black."_

She spoke the name as though it was a filthy word, and James found himself getting annoyed.

"Lily, I don't know who you've been listening too," he began, all too aware that his tone was not friendly. "But if it's that git Snape, you better ignore him. Sirius's family are pretty much all blood-purity prats but he isn't – in fact, he'll go out of his way to prove it, just like he did today. Don't judge people based on who their family are, otherwise you're no better than them. And if you want to have a go at someone over their feelings on muggleborns, I'd start with you pal, Snape; he's very friendly with Avery and the rest of that lot."

As he had been speaking Lily had been becoming more and more angry.

"Maybe I did hear it from Snape, but it doesn't mean it isn't true!" she said, standing up. "He told me that some of the older students were talking about the news in the common room and his family was mentioned."

"Exactly," said James through his teeth. "His family. Not him. Don't try and talk this rubbish about one of my best friends to me when you don't even know him."

Lily looked exasperated.

"I'm not trying to! I can't help being surprised that he was the one to knock Avery off his chair. I never said I wasn't glad he did it, just that I didn't expect it to be him! You're the one having a go at someone you dint even know - what has Sev done to you?"

"Whatever, Lily," he said, reaching for his magazine.

"Ugh, enjoy your detention, Potter," Lily said scornfully, leaving to join her friends.

James tried to read the article on the comparison of different types of tree in the tails of broomsticks that he had been looking at before Lily had come over, but he couldn't. He was annoyed by the cheek of it; assuming that because Sirius was a Black he couldn't stand up to people like Avery. It was completely wrong. His stomach twisted as a memory returned to him – his own shock at realising who Sirius was. James decided to push this minor bout of hypocrisy to the side and forget about it, and forced himself to read his magazine.


	6. Chapter 6

Remus nearly went flying as he tripped on the last step of the staircase. He was running, full-pelt, through the castle to the first floor where McGonagall's office could be found. He rounded another corner and slowed to a walk so he wouldn't be gasping for breath when he arrived.

He swore at himself quietly as he walked. He couldn't believe he was so late to his very first detention. If he was late for a detention, would he get another detention? Or would McGonagall simply send a letter home to his parents? Remus swallowed against the lump in his throat. They'd been so happy when he'd received his letter, and now he was just throwing it all away. Granted, it hadn't been him that had cast that jinx, but there was no way he was about to tell Istus it had been Sirius; that would have been a perfect way to lose the only friends he'd ever had.

He turned the last corner to see Sirius, James, and Peter all leaning on the wall by the door of McGonagall's office - Peter looking nervous, Sirius looking bored, and James looked irritated. Remus couldn't tell if it was his lateness or something else.

"All right, Remus," James said, "where have you been? We were going to come down with you." He spoke kindly, so Remus decided he wasn't the source of James's bad mood.

"Library, sorry."

"Ah."

This was, of course, not true. He'd actually been having a mid-month check-up with Madam Pomfrey, but they didn't need to know that. A few moments later McGonagall's door swung open. Sirius, James, and Peter straightened up and two people walked out. Remus vaguely recognised them as being in Gryffindor. The boy was tall, had a mop of curly, sandy hair and freckles covering his whole face. The girl had dark, copper skin and a warm smile.

"That's fine, professor," she said to McGonagall, who had followed them out of the room. "I think we decided that Mark would watch them, while I mind the students still in the Library." She looked to the boy, who Remus assumed was Mark, and he nodded.

"That will work perfectly," McGonagall said, before turning to Remus and the other three, her expression going from one of easy cooperation to foreboding so quickly it took him by surprise.

"You four will be spending detention with Driscoll here," she said shortly, gesturing to the boy. "As I have work to do. I expect to hear that you all behaved yourselves." She shot them a parting glance that Remus felt in his very soul, before she turned and disappeared back into her office. Mark Driscoll turned to them, holding a piece of parchment in one hand, the other in his pocket.

"So," he said, looking at the parchment. "I should have Potter, Pettigrew, Lupin, and Black, yes?"

He looked up and they all nodded.

"Great. With me, you lot," he said, striding off down the corridor. The four of them had to jog to keep up and Peter nearly tripped on his robe. When they reached an empty class room, Mark held the door open and they filed in.

"Pick a desk and make yourselves comfy, lads" he said, unconcernedly, as he himself sat behind the desk. He leaned back in the chair and, for the first time, Remus could properly see what he looked like.

Put bluntly, he was everything Remus wanted to be. He did have the same sandy hair as he did, he thought, but it was longer and messier, and he was tanned and looked strong, where as Remus was skinny, pale and, on any given day of the month, a bit faint. He did have a sleepy air to him, but he still managed to carry it off without looking tired. Mark Driscoll just screamed _cool,_ and Remus could tell he was not the only one who had noticed it. When Mark leaned back in his chair and put an arm over the back rest, Remus saw Sirius do the same, and when Mark mussed up the back of his hair, Remus caught James doing the same out of the corner of his eye. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep a smile from spreading across his face and, instead, dived into his bag to retrieve a quill and some parchment.

"Oh, yeah," said Driscoll, sitting up and looking around the desk for some sort of inspiration. "I need to set you something to do. Er… have you got any homework to do?"

"We have a diagram for Herbology to finish," said Peter.

Mark nodded.

"Great, just crack on with that then."

James looked confused.

"But… won't Professor McGonagall want to see some… some lines or something?" he looked to Sirius for support. Mark raised his eyebrows. "Not that I care," James added quickly, with a perfunctory shrug. "I just don't fancy another detention."

Mark laughed.

"McGonagall?" he said, with a fond smile. "No, she won't care. She's all for giving detentions if you deserve them, but she won't make you sit there doing something pointless, that's just a waste of everyone's time."

"So, we're just going to do our homework and you're going to make sure we do it?" asked Sirius, carefully.

"To be honest- sorry, what's your name?" Mark said.

"Sirius… Black."

"To be honest, Sirius, I don't mind too much if you decided to just sit here for an hour doing nothing, because that's what I intend to do." He leaned back and settled himself into a more relaxed position. "I was going to get some of my own work done, but I don't think that's going to happen anymore."

"Why not?" James asked.

Mark seemed to survey them before replying, as though he was trying to decide if he could talk candidly in front of them.

"Because I still have a monster of a hangover, mate." He said, frankly, but with a grin. "Some Ravenclaws threw a party last night, things got… messy."

Sirius and James laughed, Peter looked as though he didn't know if he was telling the truth or not. Remus was confused.

"It's seven in the evening?" he said, astonished.

Mark just snorted.

"You should have seen me at breakfast this morning, I don't think I was completely human. Dorcas can handle her booze a lot better than I can – she was fine this morning, jammy thing."

"Dorcas?" asked Sirius.

"Meadowes. The other Gryffindor prefect, she came out of McGonagall's office with me earlier." He suddenly looked horrified at himself. "Don't tell anyone I told you that, she'd kill me. Dorcas may be a wild party animal when the occasion calls for it, but most of the time she likes to pretend she's above all that."

He laughed good-naturedly, obviously not too annoyed at himself, and they joined in.

"We'll keep it quiet," said James with a grin.

"Thanks. So," Mark said, putting his feet up on the desk. "What did you end up in here for? McGonagall didn't say? Miss a deadline, did you?"

"Not exactly," said Peter quietly. Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"One of us knocked Charles Avery off his seat in Defence Against the Dark Arts," said Remus sheepishly. Mark raised his eyebrows.

"Knocked?"

"With a wand."

"Yeah, I can't imagine Istus letting you get away with that in her class," Mark said with a dark smile. "Were you – whichever of you it was – provoked? What did he do?"

Remus looked at the others, who were all doing the same, trying to work out whether or not to keep talking. Mark Driscoll was a prefect, he could be trying to find out which one of them did it. Or maybe he would agree with Avery? Remus couldn't imagine him doing.

"He said he agreed that muggleborns should be kicked out the Ministry and the called them-" Remus swallowed nervously. "Well, he used the M-word."

Mark let his feet slide off the desk and gaped at them.

"He didn't."

"He did," insisted Peter.

Mark let out a low whistle.

"Bet Istus did her nut in when she heard that,"

"She wasn't happy," grumbled Sirius, who had his arms folded across his chest. "Don't know why she gave m- us detention for getting him." His cheeks flushed slightly, having nearly admitted to the crime.

Mark's smile seemed to suggest he'd picked up on it but he said nothing.

"Istus is a decent woman, mate," he said. "A stickler for the rules, but a bit of a legend."

Remus was stunned. He had thought she seemed tough, but that was about as remarkable as he thought the professor was.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well," Mark said, pushing himself up and walking round to the front of the desk. The way he leant against it was vaguely reminiscent of Istus herself. "She was an auror when she was younger, and one of the best – she helped bring down the pure-blood movement that was targeting the Squibs-Rights group in the sixies by going undercover on her own and survived a one-against-six duel in 1903. She knows what she's talking about when she's teaching you defensive magic, so I'd listen. After she left the DMLE she joined the Wizengamot and has, basically, been stirring the pot ever since. If she thinks something isn't right, she'll let you know about it. In fact," he looked at James. "It's Potter isn't it?"

"Yeah," said James, cautiously.

"Thought so, I'm guessing your grandfather was Henry, am I right?"

James looked dumbfounded.

"How do you know that?"

"History of Magic N.E.W.T student, we're doing the Wizard-Muggle relations throughout Muggle wartime as a module," he said laughing. "Sorry, I can see how that could just look creepy. I only meant that even when she was fresh out of Hogwarts, Istus was a huge supporter of your grandfather when he kicked off over wizard involvement in the war. Yeah, Istus is an impressive witch."

"We probably shouldn't prat about as much in her lessons then," said Peter, under his breath.

Mark heard him and laughed.

"It isn't too bad if you don't get caught," he said sardonically. "So, go on. Which of you got Avery with that spell? He sounds like a right plonker."

They spent the rest of the detention chatting away with Mark, doing very little work, until the clock hit eight o'clock and he let them go. It felt like they had been in there for no time at all, thought Remus as he pulled his bag on his shoulder.

"Make sure I don't see you in detention again any time soon, lads," Mark called to them as they left.

They all waved and began walking back to the common room.

"That guy is so cool," said Peter, eagerly, a second after the door swung shut behind them.

"Merlin, Peter, don't be so keen," James laughed. "Although, he was all right, wasn't he? He could have been a right arse about it, but I actually enjoyed that detention."

"What about all that with Istus?" said Remus. "I had no idea. I just thought she was, you know… a teacher."

"She may be a legend," said Sirius darkly. "But as long as she's putting us in detention, she's still a teacher, mate. Just one of the more impressive ones."

…

The next few weeks passed with very little drama at Hogwarts. The papers had nothing exciting to report, no one was going out with anyone new, and Sinead Duffy hadn't fallen out with anyone in a while. The only thing that came to Lily's mind, when she was sat pondering how calm it had been at dinner on Halloween, was that Remus had had to go home to see his mother again. No one seemed to have noticed. He only left for a day, but when she had seen him again appeared sad, so she kept her distance. If he needed to speak to anyone, he'd talk to the boys. They were his close friends, not her.

Something wet and mushy hit Lily's face and she was dragged back into reality.

"What the hell?" she said, wiping at her cheek. "Marlene, was that you?"

Marlene shrugged, all the while wiping mash off her dessert spoon. "You'd been staring, glassy eyed, at that boy on the Hufflepuff table for the past five minutes – he was getting creeped out."

Sure enough, a Hufflepuff fifth year was looking back at her, very confused.

"Sorry," said Lily, picking her knife and fork back up and continuing with her steak pie. "I zoned right out then."

"Come on, Lily," said Emmeline brightly, gently shoving her shoulder. "Its Halloween! You can't be sad on Halloween!"

Lily said nothing. She just stabbed at a new potato with her fork and let her hair fall forward so it covered her face. She hated Halloween – a celebration that was a little more difficult to avoid in the wizarding world than it was back home. She used to love it; her and Petunia would use bin bags to dress up as witches and their parents couldn't afford to buy outfits, but they didn't care. They'd spend all day finding the right sick from the woods to use as a wand, their father would let them borrow his broom from his shed, and they'd take turns flying around their town on it, knocking on doors for sweets. But that didn't last. When Petunia went to high school everything changed. She didn't want to play anymore, and Halloween was for babies; everything Lily liked to do seemed to be for children, according to Petunia now. The great hall being decorated with lanterns and the ghosts being extra creepy simply brought it all back. Her mind drifted to the last conversation she'd had with her sister before leaving and she felt tears start to prickle in her eyes.

"I swear, if we don't get pudding soon I'm going to march down to the kitchens myself and make it," said Marlene, who had had an empty plate for about ten minutes now. "You lot take forever to eat."

"We just don't eat like savages," said Mary, taking a delicate bite of carrot off her fork, as if to prove her point. Lily force a laugh to try and banish the tears and Marlene stuck out her tongue.

But before their food could disappear and reappear as something sweeter, something silver burst through the doors to the entrance hall. Students gasped, someone screamed, and then they all fell silent as the thing came to a stop in front of the teachers table, facing Dumbledore directly, who had now stood, and was watching the glowing object with a grave expression.

"It's an owl," breathed Emmeline, her eyes wide.

Lily looked. It did indeed have the likeness of a scops owl, but it wasn't real. It was almost translucent, and definitely not physically there, but something about it was more substantial than a trick of the light, or even smoke. She couldn't work out what.

And then it spoke. Several people cried out again, so Lily only just caught what was said.

" _Suspects have attacked Rothes,"_ it said, in an unfamiliar female voice _. "At least fifteen dead. Current whereabouts unknown. Come immediately."_

The owl faded away into nothing and everything was quiet. No one said a word as Dumbledore stood, McGonagall following suit a second later. The room was tense as everyone waited for him so speak.

"Prefects," he said in a calm, but stern voice. "Take your students to their common rooms then - older prefects - return to the Great Hall. I ask everyone to remain calm." The prefects stood, Dumbledore disappeared into the chamber behind the teacher's table with McGonagall, and suddenly, there was uproar.

Lily grabbed hold of Mary and Emmeline's hands and Marlene latched on to Mary, all of them desperately trying to stay together in the thriving mass of students, all desperately rushing towards the doors to the Entrance Hall. A group of older Gryffindor boys were pushing from the back of the crowd, laughing and enjoying the rowdiness, prefect's shouts were being drowned out by students calling and screaming in both excitement and fear.

By the time they had reached the marble staircase, students were running, Lily included. They had said people had died, fifteen of them. Had this happened near Hogwarts? Were they coming here next? Where were Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall going? And what was the ghostly owl thing? Lily didn't know, and right now, all she really wanted was her mother. But she wasn't going to fall apart. They reached the common room and Lily kept a tight hold of her friends. She needed someone, and she was keeping herself together well enough with them there. People piled in so that it was busier than Lily had ever seen it. Students sat on the tables and the floor when the chairs were all taken, and the girls found a space in a corner.

"Shall we go to our dormitory?" said Mary. She had tears on her face and was shaking.

Marlene was about to open her mouth to answer when a voice carried across the common room.

"Right, everyone, listen up, please!" said an older girl with an afro, who was stood by the door with a boy of the same age. The room fell quiet. "Thanks. For those younger students who don't know, I am Dorcas Meadowes and this is Mark Driscoll – we are your seventh year prefects."

She gave a small, perfunctory nod and he waved once before Dorcas continued.

"Obviously there has been an incident in Rothes that is being dealt with and Professor Dumbledore has gone to assist." She spoke in a business-like manner that made Lily trust her so much that she physically relaxed. However, as she was still holding her hand, Lily could tell that the trembling Mary was not placated at all.

"We are going to be going down to help the teachers," said Mark, who seemed much more laid-back than Dorcas. "If you need anything, give your fifth year prefects – Laura and Tiberius-" he pointed at two people in the crowd, who also waved, "a shout, and they'll tell you what you need to know."

They were about to leave when a small sob escaped Mary and she put her face in her hands, which was probably a good thing, as she couldn't see half the common room – including Mark and Dorcas – looking at her. Dorcas whispered something to Mark, who turned and left out the portrait hole, and then she approached the girls. She bent down until she was level with Mary – who was still crying - and slowly, but gently, pulled her into a hug, letting her cry into her hair and quietly reassuring her.

"What your name, hun?" she said, placing her hands on her shoulders.

"M-Mary."

"Okay, Mary. It's all going to be fine, sweetheart," Dorcas said, wiping the tears off Mary's face and looking her in the eye. "I have to go, but I promise you're safe in here."

Mary nodded weepily.

"Can I count on you to keep an eye on her?" Dorcas asked Lily, Emmeline, and Marlene who all nodded. "Great. I'll check on you later, girls." And she left.

"Come on," said Marlene, watching her go. "Let's go upstairs."

They all trooped up the stairs and started getting ready for bed. Sinead and Emma were already tucked up talking in hushed tones about the evenings events.

"I know what we should do," said Emmeline, rooting around in her trunk. She pulled out a huge packet of Bertie Bot's Every Flavour Beans and jumped on to Mary's bed.

"Great idea," said Lily. She climbed on to the other end of the bed and beckoned Marlene to join them. Eventually, after the four girls had spent a while, squashed into the same bed, eating sweets, and talking about anything other than what had happened at Rothes, Mary cheered up. And not long after that, they all fell asleep.

…

"So, what did he say?"

Sirius sat in the common room with James, Remus, and Peter at break the next morning, trying to keep warm by sitting as close to the fire as possible. James had come running up after catching Mark Driscoll in the hallway and asking him about what had happened the night before.

"He didn't tell me too much, but," James said, slightly out of breath. "it sounds like some people got drunk in the Three Broomsticks, got kicked out of there for causing trouble, then went over to Rothes – it's a small muggle town about five miles away," he added when they all looked confused.

"And somehow fifteen muggles ended up dead?" said Remus.

"Yeah."

"How?" asked Peter.

"Dunno," said James with a shrug. "He didn't say."

"Who were they?" Sirius asked.

"Dunno."

"Have they caught them?" pushed Remus.

"Dunno."

"James," said Sirius, exasperated. "What in Merlin's name do you actually know?"

"Nothing, apparently," said Remus under his breath which made James throw a ball of scrunched up parchment at Remus, who threw it back in return.

"Sirius?"

All four of them turned. Lily was stood on her own, obviously having just entered the common room.

"What's up, Evans?" James teased. Lily scowled.

"I'm wasn't talking to you, Potter." She said sharply, but she softened her expression when she turned to Sirius. "There's a girl outside the portrait asking for you. I don't know who she is, but she sounded like she really needed to talk to you."

James and Peter wolf whistled and made suggestive noises while Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius, however, ignored them and addressed Lily.

"Was she blonde?" he asked, quietly, so the others couldn't hear.

Lily nodded.

"Did she look happy?"

After raising her eyebrows, Lily reluctantly shook her head.

"That's Narcissa, then." Sirius said, darkly.

He got up and climbed through the portrait hole to find his cousin waiting for him. She was twisting a strand of hair around her fingers and looked stressed. The second she saw him, she fixed a smile on her face, but it was strained and actually made her look even more tense.

"What do you want?" he said, folding his arms and desperately trying to hide how nervous he was. Last time he had been summoned by Narcissa it had not ended well.

She dropped the smile as soon as she heard his tone.

"Don't be like that, Sirius. I need to speak to you, come on." She turned and began to walk away. He followed. Narcissa said nothing to him as they walked. It was only when they reached a tapestry that she stopped. She pulled it back and Sirius was stunned to see it revealed a corridor.

"What?" He said, momentarily forgetting how anxious he was. "Do they all do that?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Sirius." Lucius had appeared out of the darkness from behind the tapestry. "In. Now."

Sirius turned and tried to walk away as soon as he saw him but instantly Narcissa had her wand out and he couldn't move any further. He kicked against her spell but then Lucius had hold of him and was dragging into the corridor. Sirius felt his back slam against the wall and Lucius's balled up fist was holding on to his robes at his throat, pinning him there.

"Get off!" Sirius spluttered, trying to push him away.

"Lucius," Narcissa warned.

Lucius's eyes bored into Sirius's. They were cold and grey and made Sirius increasingly uneasy; he couldn't tell what he was about to do so was very relieved when Lucius let him go. Sirius didn't even attempt to get away as both Lucius and Narcissa now had their wands out. He swallowed and tried to keep his voice steady when he spoke.

"Cissy," he said, massaging his throat. "What's going on? What did I do?"

"It's not what you have done, Sirius," she said. He could tell in her face she wasn't happy with what Lucius had just done to him, but her voice was unsympathetic. It dripped with false sweetness and made Sirius recoil. "It's what you're going to do. You're not an idiot, Sirius," Lucius made a noise like he disagreed, but she ignored him. "I know you've probably worked it out by now. Bella and Rodolphus were arrested last night over what happened in that muggle town."

Sirius could hear his heart hammering in his chest. He knew it. He didn't want to hear what was coming next, to hear what they wanted from him. Narcissa came closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder but Sirius kept his eyes fixed on Lucius who was now leaning against the opposite wall, watching him.

"The ministry have them," Narcissa continued in her false tone. "But, apparently they don't have enough to keep them unless they can link them to that nasty stuff that happened with the ministry mudblood a few weeks ago. You know what that means?"

Sirius shook his head. That had been the wrong thing to do. Lucius had obviously run out of patience. He moved Narcissa out of the way, who said not a word in protest, and placed his wand under Sirius's chin. Sirius froze.

"It means," said Lucius, deadly quiet. "That they're going to want to talk to you this time. They might have let you off last time, but this time its more serious. So, when you're pulled up in front of Dumbledore, or McGonagall, or whatever Ministry bastard they send, you know what you're going to say, don't you?"

Sirius nodded but Lucius raised his eyebrows and pressed a little harder against Sirius with his wand.

"I-I'll say that… that they stayed the night." Sirius said in a voice that was barely there. "That they never left."

"Good," whispered Lucius. "Because you know what will happen if I hear you've said anything else?"

Before he could answer, Sirius felt a sharp burn where Lucius's wand had been and he yelped, pushed him away and ran as fast as he could back to the common room. He got through the portrait hole and past James, Remus, and Peter before anyone could speak to him and bolted up the stairs to his dormitory. He knew James was coming after him, so he pulled the curtains shut around his bed, threw the covers over himself and buried his face in his pillow so James, who was now in the room, couldn't hear him cry.


End file.
